Epistolary fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Japanese -- United States -- Fiction
“I hang them in bathroom to show company how extravagant we are with
our laundry,” rejoint Mrs. Fillups. “In this era of hard times towels
are not made merely to be used.”
Dinner is served. At Hon. Table where they set there she resume
conversation. “Don’t tip soup plate in eating it,” she report
cow-cattishly. “Don’t stand up while carving mutton. Don’t eat salad
with oyster fork!”
When dinner is completely finished Hon. Fillups promenade in direction
of parlour. His teeeth now contains one enlarged tobacco pipe of
sunburned appearance.
“DON’T!!” holla Hon. Mrs. with ghost-voice. “The parlour must be saved
from that pipe. I have prepared the library for your comfort where you
can set among the books you love and read the newspapers. There you can
do what you like and feel homeful.”
Hon. Fillups go to library. There he find one tight-back wicker chair
setting hopefully beside table. On that chair are laid out one smoke
jacket containing velvet collar of charming red. Befront of his chair
are two (2) complete slippers of carpet toes. On table are 12 refined
cigars of freckled complexion. On table next by this are works of Hon.
Robt. Browning bound in one-half calf and containing blue ribbons to
mark Mr. Fillups favourite poems, which he has never read.
Hon. Husband make walk-in to this library where he take _Evening
Telegram_ from his pocket and unfold it on table. Then he go to
opposite corner of room, remove off his coat, pick out one large
velvet-coloured chair, light Hon. Pipe and commence reading News with
expression of intense relief.
“Why don’t you put on smoke-jacket what I arrange for your comfort?”
requires Mrs. Fillups with injury voice.
“Too hot, dearness,” he report from news.
“But it matches the room so nicely,” she dib. “When will you learn to
be a decoration? Also I give you 12 fashionable cigars for Xmas and you
continue making puff-puff with that horid old pipe.”
“I would never be so cruel as to burn up your gifts,” he repartee.
“Besides this pipe, though strong, is more gentle in its strength than
many cigars of twice its weakness.”
“I fix you nice wicker chair by lamp-shade, yet you continue to spill
ash on fine velvet furniture. Why is?”
“Velvet, though expensive, has a way of feeling soft to tired business
men,” he explain, looking ashamed.
“Also I have fixed works of Hon. Robt Browning for your benefit. Why do
you continue to snub this great poet?”
“I mean him no personal injury,” say Hon. Fillup. “Unfortunately I can
find better murders in newspapers, and they are easier to read.”
So he continue through the evening, setting in his cuff-sleeves,
smudging his pipe and looking very misfit.
Last Wednesday morning when he was departing off for his office he say
with hopes:
“I shall bring college friend Charlie Stringer home for dinner, if
convenient.”
“Don’t!” she say continuously.
“For why?” he ask out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account