Hon. Mrs explode her voice from my words and attemp’ to imprison my escape by locking front door. But she could not. With Samurai war-cry I open umbruella and, attaching myself to handle, I make jump-out from bedroom window and flew 9 stories like Hon. Glen Curtiss. When I arrived to pave-walk Hon. Janitor see me and report, “You are broken out with lunacy.” Hoping you are the same, Yours truly, _Hashimura Togo_. XIV CAN AUTOMOBILES BE TAMED FOR HOME USE? _To Editor Home and Lady Page who are so smooth of heart and soft of mind he can safely introduce gasolene into most explosive families._ Dear Hon. Mr!--With delicious rapidity I shot off from my last situation of work, care Mrs. Seth Hopp, Camden, N. J. This lady admire my talent so much she appoint me to every task of a disagreeable nature. In her supply of housework she include one slight, grey ottomobile of one-lung capacity and asthma of engine. This machinery are like mosquitos, small but cross. Mr. Editor, I have always dreaded to get acquainted with ottomobiles because they are connected with so many crimes. Yet when I am employed as Gen. Houseworker in a house where a cook must understand chauffering, what could I? Last Munday a. m. Hon. Mrs. Hopp approach to me with racetrack expression and corrode, “Togo, as soonly as you finish washing dishes, go out to garage and wash ottomobile. Then take him down to R R depot to meet Mr. Hopp at 5.66 train.” “I do not understood your ottomobile,” I abject. “Nobody does,” she say cheerly. “Yet I are sure you can become mister of this difficult wagon, because Japanese are extra bright little people.” I thank her with bent stomach. And yet calm nervousness straddled my heart. As soonly as I had finished bathing dishes, Hon. Mrs. lead me forthly to gas-stable where that iron animal stood amidst awful perfumery. I was shocked to observe the cruel expression of lamps with which he gazed at me. “He are simple and good natured when you know his habits,” she explain. “This truth are also true of vampires,” I dib for frights. “Your duty must be to dust him night and morning, manicure his carborette and train him to obey. When you learn to control him, it shall be your duty to drive Hon. Mr. Hopp back & forthly. I show you how to learn.” Hon. Mrs go to home & put on racetrack hat peculiar to motor. Then she teach me free lesson. Firstly she go to front nose of Hon. Ottomobile and twist crank resembling ice-cream freezer. Mad trembly arrive from his insides! “Now he are ready to do anything,” collapse Hon. Mrs dragging me to seat besides her. I set here holding on to my soul. “Observe my antics if possible,” she commit with extreme dexterity of thumbs, heels, hands & elbows while she poke 6 buttons, jerk 1 doz handles, inflame electricity and make goose-cry by horn. I sat gast to see her. WHOOSH!! We commence onward.