"Nothing to what they've put me into. Eh, Blodwell?" "Now, tell me, Mapledurham," said Mr. Blodwell, who was in a serious mood to-night. "On the whole, have you enjoyed your life?" "I have wasted opportunities, talents, substance--everything: and enjoyed it confoundedly. I am no use even as a warning." "Ask a parson," said Mr. Blodwell, dryly. "I remember," the Marquis went on, dreamily, "an old ruffian--another old ruffian--saying just the same sort of thing one night. I was at Liverpool for the Cup. Well, in the evening, I got tired of the other fellows, and went out for a turn; and down a back street, I found an old chap sitting on a doorstep,--a dirty old fellow, but uncommonly picturesque, with a long grey beard. As I came by, he was just trying to get up, but he staggered and fell back again." "Drunk?" asked Mr. Blodwell. The Marquis nodded. "I gave him a hand, and asked if I could do anything for him. 'Yes, give me a drink,' says he. I told him he was drunk already, but he said that made no odds, so I helped him to the nearest gin-palace." "Behold this cynic's unacknowledged kindnesses!" said Mr. Blodwell. "Sat him down in a chair, and gave him liquor. "'Do you enjoy getting drunk?' I asked him, just as you asked me if I had enjoyed life. "His drink didn't interfere with his tongue, it only seemed to take him in the legs. He put down his glass, and made me a little speech. "'Liquor,' says he, 'has been my curse; it's broken up my home, spoilt my work, destroyed my character, sent me and mine to gaol and shame. God bless liquor! say I.' "I told him he was an old beast, much as you, Blodwell, told me I was, in a politer way. He only grinned, and said, 'If you're a gentleman, you'll see me home. Lying in the gutter costs five shillings, next morning, and I haven't got it.' "'All right,' said I; and after another glass we started out. He knew the way, and led me through a lot of filthy places to one of the meanest dens I ever saw. A red-faced, red-armed, red-voiced (you know what I mean) woman opened the door, and let fly a cloud of Billingsgate at him. The old chap treated her with lofty courtesy. "'Quite true, Mrs. Bort,' says he; 'you're always right: I have ruined myself.' "'And yer darter!' shrieked the woman. "'And my daughter. And I am drunk now, and hope to be drunk to-morrow.' "'Ah! you old beast!' said she, just as I had, shaking her fist. "He turned round to me, and said, 'I am obliged to you, sir. I don't know your name.' "'You wouldn't be better off if you did,' says I. 'You couldn't drink it.' "'Will you give me a sovereign?' he asked. 'A week's joy, sir,--a week's joy and life.' "'Give it me,' said the woman, 'then me and she'll get something to eat, to keep us alive.' "I'm a benevolent man at bottom, Mr. Neston, as Blodwell remarks. I said,