Nancy had started to her feet, when he said with such energy that he
would not do it: but something arrested her. Whether the reasonableness
of it, which was not likely, or the new force and vigour with which he
spoke, or the pathos of the entreaty at the end, it would be difficult
to say. But she was arrested, her attention caught, and the rush of her
hasty blood restrained. After all, perhaps, there was something in what
he said. It was not worth her while to fly from them--to avoid them as
if she was afraid. But rather to show them her own superiority--to
convince them that she was as good as they were, and had no occasion to
fear them. This, perhaps, was scarcely the sentiment inculcated by
Arthur’s speech; but rather the turn it took in the alembic of her own
mind, in which a hundred crude ideas were fermenting and getting fused
daily. She sat down again after a moment, when he had ceased speaking.
Arthur, notwithstanding his appeal, had excited himself too much to care
precisely what she was thinking, and even this gave a wholesome stimulus
to the turn in the tide of her thoughts. He did not care, but he should
be made to care--he should be proud of her--he should feel that those
people who slighted her were slighting something above themselves. She
would not yield so far as to say anything, to give her promise that she
would endeavour to conciliate Mrs. Curtis. Not for her life; but what
she said did not need to be any criterion of what she would do. She took
up a book which happened to be on the table, and pretended to read it
with an absolute absorption of interest which justified her silence;
while he, on the other hand, having no certainty that he had moved her,
but rather fearing the worst, kept pacing up and down between the window
and the door, excited beyond the immediate question, having, for the
first time, opened up the ultimate matter with himself. And when he once
began to think of it, he could not shake off the idea. It was no
question of expediency or possibility--a thing which ought to be done
perhaps, yet might not. It seemed to him, thinking of it, that he must
at once explain everything, and claim his forgiveness, and the reception
of his bride. “I have done wrong--but it cannot be undone; nor is the
wrong half so serious as you think.” This was what he must say. He had
intended to write ever since he got to Paris, but had deferred it as an
unpleasant business which might stand off from day to day. But now it
appeared to him, all at once, that nothing was so important. Whatever
else he did, he must reconcile himself with his father and mother, his
own flesh and blood. If they would not, he must bear it; but nothing
must be left undone on his part. This sudden conviction was brought upon
him--was it by the sight of his relations--was it by Nancy’s
unreasonable and absurd antipathy to them? He could not tell--but the
fact that he could think of any sentiment on Nancy’s part as absurd and
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