And this was how he went away. An attaché of a foreign Legation is not
supposed to be the most hardworking of men. Yet there are things which
they may do when it is a matter of preference for them to be occupied;
and Arthur went into society, almost vehemently, not caring to remember
himself and his position. Perhaps he did not pass through the furnace
entirely unscathed. He thrust Nancy’s image out of his heart, and shut
the door on her, and pretended not to be conscious of the efforts that
image made to get back. Not Nancy--Nancy herself made no attempt one way
or another, no overture; but her image, her recollection, that
reflection of her which had occupied him when she was gone, kept
persistently upon the threshold of the temple whence she had been
expelled. Perhaps he was not always faithful to her, but sought after
new impressions, new sensations as a man may be excused for doing to
whom the shrine of his heart has already been defiled; but he never got
beyond the feeling that she was there--his rightful queen, and what was
more his actual possessor, whatever he might think, or others might
think. Meanwhile he lived a gay and busy life. He talked and danced,
and, no doubt, flirted; for though he had made his position known, there
were plenty of people in society to whom his position was quite
indifferent; and Nancy, had she seen her husband, who was so devoted to
her, in those early days of separation, would, no doubt, have had
occasions for heavy enough thoughts on her part. But all the same, her
image was never farther off than outside the door--artificially closed
and bolted by curious devices, but of itself ever ready to open--of
Arthur’s heart.
All this, however, makes an effect upon a man; and when Durant wrote to
him, after the interval of those two years, that the parents were dead,
and that Nancy had left Underhayes, it made a great commotion in his
mind, no doubt, but it did not rouse him to instant action. His first
thought, indeed, was to rush home himself, and come to her help in her
trouble; but this was only a first thought. Why should he go, said a
soberer impulse? Had she not rejected him, driven him from her, refused
to be touched by any argument he could offer; and why should he humble
himself to seek her again without any indication that he would be more
successful this time? No, no, he would not risk a repetition of it all.
Repetitions are always to be avoided. If any lingering feeling for him
had been in her mind, would not she have had him informed of this new
state of circumstances which might have modified affairs between them?
But she had said nothing, she had taken no notice of his existence at
this moment of trouble, when her heart, no doubt, must have been
touched. He wrote to Durant to inquire into the circumstances, and to
let him know how Nancy was. But he did nothing more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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