than ever, for Nancy was still the great person of the family. She was
rich in comparison with them. She had a house of her own--she was a
lady. Numberless benefits might flow to them from her hands. This was
not necessary to make these good people kind to their own flesh and
blood; but still such considerations warm and quicken human feeling.
They were not fond of Nancy for what she had to bestow, but the fact
that she had something to bestow did not diminish their fondness. They
hushed the house and kept it still, making Charley’s life miserable, and
the father’s a burden to him, for Nancy’s sake. It was her nerves, poor
thing, they said, and everything had to give way to Nancy’s
nerves--things hitherto unknown in the house.
When, however, Nancy came downstairs at last, after her bout of illness,
she experienced not only the horrible sense of re-beginning which wrings
the soul after any great calamity, but a sudden and fantastic increase
of misery in the disgust which seized upon her for all her surroundings.
Not only had she a new life to begin without Arthur, without hope,
without any future widening of her horizon possible; but the home which
she had sought so anxiously, and to which she had clung in opposition to
Arthur and defiance of him, suddenly changed its aspect to her. She
felt it the first afternoon when she came downstairs supported, though
it was unnecessary, by her anxious mother, and was placed in the old
easy-chair by the fire, which was burning brightly, though it was not
necessary either, on this soft spring afternoon. She had scarcely sat
down in the chair, which was her father’s chair, close to the fire and
to the little mahogany bracket on which he placed his rum-and-water,
when this sudden loathing seized her. The afternoon sun was shining into
the room, betraying dust where dust was not expected, showing the
imperfections of everything--the old haircloth sofa in the corner, the
not very clean carpet, the table covered with painted oil-cloth.
Meanness, smallness, poverty seemed to have come into every detail. The
air was too warm, and it was not fresh, but retained odours of the
dinner, of the beer and cheese with which it had been concluded; for
Mrs. Bates had not liked to open the window to chill the air for the
invalid. What spell had fallen upon this room, which she had so longed
for, and which she had returned to with such content? How mean it
looked, what a contracted, paltry place, unlovely, unsweet! And it was
to this that she had dragged Arthur! this was the thought that flew like
an arrow through Nancy’s mind. They brought a little tray with tea, and
hot muffins to tempt her invalid appetite, and Mrs. Bates was at once
alarmed and vexed when she pushed it peevishly away and declined to eat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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