“There's only the bare bone of the leg of pork: but you'll get nothing else for dinner, I can tell you. It's a dreadful thing that the poor children should go without,--but, if they have such a father, they, poor things, must suffer for it. “Nearly a whole leg of pork and a pint of brandy! A pint of brandy and a leg of pork. A leg of--leg--leg-pint--” And mumbling the syllables, says Mr. Caudle's MS., she went to sleep LECTURE VI. MR. CAUDLE HAS LENT AN ACQUAINTANCE THE FAMILY UMBRELLA. MRS. CAUDLE LECTURES THEREON. “Bah! That's the third umbrella gone since Christmas. What were you to do! Why let him go home in the rain, to be sure. I'm very certain there was nothing about _him_ that could spoil. Take cold, indeed! He doesn't look like one of the sort to take cold. Besides he'd have better taken cold than take our only umbrella. Do you hear the rain, Mr. Caudle? I say, do you hear the rain? And as I'm alive, if it isn't Saint Swithin's day! Do you hear it against the windows? Nonsense; you don't impose upon me. You can't be asleep with such a shower as that! Do you hear it, I say? Oh you _do_ hear it! Well, that's a pretty flood, I think, to last for six weeks; and no stirring all the time out of the house. Pooh! Don't think me a fool, Mr. Caudle. Don't insult me. _He_ return the umbrella! Any body would think you were born yesterday. As if anybody ever _did_ return an umbrella! There--do you hear it? Worse and worse! Cats and dogs, and for six weeks--always six weeks. And no umbrella! “I should like to know how the children are to get to school to-morrow. They shan't go through such weather, I'm determined. No: they shall stop at home and never learn anything--the blessed creatures!--sooner than go and get wet. And when they grow up, I wonder who they 'll have to thank for knowing nothing--who, indeed, but their father? People who can't feel for their own children ought never to be fathers. “But I know why you lent the umbrella. Oh, yes; I know very well. I was going out to tea at dear mother's to-morrow,--you knew that; and you did it on purpose. Don't tell me; you hate me to go there, and take every mean advantage to hinder me. But don't you think it, Mr. Caudle. No, sir; if it comes down in buckets-full, I 'll go all the more. No: and I won't have a cab! Where do you think the money's to come from? You've got nice high notions at that club of yours! A cab, indeed! Cost me sixteenpence at least--sixteenpence!--two-and-eightpence, for there's back again! Cabs, indeed! I should like to know who's to pay for 'em? _I_ can't pay for 'em; and I'm sure _you_ can't, if you go on as you do; throwing away your property, and beggaring your children--buying umbrellas?