“And then you must go into the shows? There,--you don't deny that. You _did_ go into a show. What of it, Mr. Caudle? A good deal of it, sir. Nice crowding and squeezing in those shows, I know. Pretty places! And you a married man and the father of a family. No: I won't hold my tongue. It's very well for you to threaten to get up. You're to go to Greenwich Fair, and race up and down the hill, and play at kiss in the ring. Pah! it's disgusting, Mr. Caudle. Oh, I dare say you _did_ play at it; if you didn't, you'd have liked, and that's just as bad;--and you can go into swings, and shows, and roundabouts. If I was you, I should hide my head under the clothes, and be ashamed of myself. “And what is most selfish--most mean of you, Caudle--you can go and enjoy yourself, and never so much as bring home for the poor children a gingerbread-nut. Don't tell me that your pocket was picked of a pound of nuts! Nice company you must have been in to have your pocket picked. “But I dare say I shall hear all about it tomorrow. I've no doubt, sir, you were dancing at the Crown-and-Anchor. I should like to have seen you. No: I'm not making myself ridiculous. It's you that's making yourself ridiculous; and everybody that knows you says so. Everybody knows what I have to put up with from you. “Going to a fair, indeed! At your time----” “Here,” says Caudle, “I dozed off, hearing confusedly the words--hill--gypsies--rattles--roundabout--swings--pink bonnet--nuts.” LECTURE X. ON MR. CAUDLE'S SHIRT-BUTTONS. There, Mr. Caudle, I hope you 're in a little better temper than you were this morning? There--you needn't begin to whistle: people don't come to bed to whistle. But it's like you. I can't speak, that you don't try to insult me. Once, I used to say, you were the best creature living: now, you get quite a fiend. _Do_ let you rest? No: I won't let you rest. It's the only time I have to talk to you, and you _shall_ hear me. I'm put upon all day long: it's very hard if I can't speak a word at night; and it isn't often I open my mouth, goodness knows! “Because _once_ in your lifetime your shirt wanted a button, you must almost swear the roof off the house! You _didn't_ swear? Ha, Mr. Caudle! you don't know what you do when you 're in a passion. You were not in a passion, wer'n't you? Well, then, I don't know what a passion is--and I think I ought by this time. I've lived long enough with you, Mr. Caudle, to know that.