"I only want to make 'em respectable and--what do you say? "YOU'LL GIVE FIFTEEN POUNDS? "No, Caudle, no--not a penny will I take under twenty; if I did, it would seem as if I wanted to waste your money: and I'm sure, when I come to think of it, twenty pounds will hardly do. Still, if you'll give me twenty--no, it's no use your offering fifteen, and wanting to go to sleep. You sha'n't close an eye until you promise me twenty. Come, Caudle, love!--twenty, and then you may go to sleep. Twenty-- twenty--twenty--" "My impression is," writes Caudle, "that I fell asleep sticking firmly to the fifteen; but in the morning Mrs. Caudle assured me, as a woman of honour, that she wouldn't let me wink an eye before I promised the twenty: and man is frail--and woman is strong--she had the money." LECTURE XV--MR. CAUDLE HAS AGAIN STAYED OUT LATE. MRS. CAUDLE, AT FIRST INJURED AND VIOLENT, MELTS "Perhaps, Mr. Caudle, you'll tell me where this is to end? Though, goodness knows, I needn't ask THAT. The end is plain enough. Out-- out--out! Every night--every night! I'm sure, men who can't come home at reasonable hours have no business with wives: they have no right to destroy other people, if they choose to go to destruction themselves. Ha, lord! Oh, dear! I only hope none of my girls will ever marry--I hope they'll none of 'em ever be the slave their poor mother is: they shan't, if I can help it. What do you say? "NOTHING? "Well, I don't wonder at that, Mr. Caudle? you ought to be ashamed to speak; I don't wonder that you can't open your mouth. I'm only astonished that at such hours you have the confidence to knock at your own door. Though I'm your wife, I must say it, I do sometimes wonder at your impudence. What do you say? "NOTHING? "Ha! you are an aggravating creature, Caudle; lying there like the mummy of a man, and never as much as opening your lips to one. Just as if your own wife wasn't worth answering! It isn't so when you're out, I'm sure. Oh no! then you can talk fast enough; here, there's no getting a word from you. But you treat your wife as no other man does--and you know it. "Out--out every night! What? "YOU HAVEN'T BEEN OUT THIS WEEK BEFORE? "That's nothing at all to do with it. You might just as well be out all the week as once--just! And I should like to know what could keep you out till these hours? "BUSINESS? "Oh, yes--I dare say! Pretty business a married man and the father of a family must have out of doors at one in the morning. What? "I SHALL DRIVE YOU MAD? "Oh, no; you haven't feelings enough to go mad--you'd be a better man, Caudle, if you had. "WILL I LISTEN TO YOU? "What's the use? Of course you've some story to put me off with--you can all do that, and laugh at us afterwards.