"But you're not going to get rid of me in that manner, I can tell you. But for that trollop--now, you may swear and rave as you like - "YOU DON'T INTEND TO SAY A WORD MORE? "Very well; it's no matter what you say--her quarter's up on Tuesday, and go she shall. A soup-plate and a basin went yesterday. "A soup-plate and a basin, and when I've the headache as I have, Mr. Caudle, tearing me to pieces! But I shall never be well in this world--never. A soup-plate and a basin!" "She slept," writes Caudle, "and poor Kitty left on Tuesday." LECTURE XXXIII--MRS. CAUDLE HAS DISCOVERED THAT CAUDLE IS A RAILWAY DIRECTOR "When I took up the paper to-day, Caudle, you might have knocked me down with a feather! Now, don't be a hypocrite--you know what's the matter. And when you haven't a bed to lie upon, and are brought to sleep upon coal sacks--and then I can tell you, Mr. Caudle, you may sleep by yourself--then you'll know what's the matter. Now, I've seen your name, and don't deny it. Yes,--the Eel-Pie Island Railway- -and among the Directors, Job Caudle, Esq., of the Turtle-Dovery, and--no, I won't be quiet. It isn't often--goodness knows!--that I speak; but seeing what I do, I won't be silent. "WHAT DO I SEE? "Why, there, Mr. Caudle, at the foot of the bed, I see all the blessed children in tatters--I see you in a gaol, and the carpets hung out of the windows. "And now I know why you talk in your sleep about a broad and narrow gauge! I couldn't think what was on your mind--but now it's out. Ha! Mr. Caudle, there's something about a broad and narrow way that I wish you'd remember--but you're turned quite a heathen: yes, you think of nothing but money now. "DON'T I LIKE MONEY? "To be sure I do; but then I like it when I'm certain of it; no risks for me. Yes, it's all very well to talk about fortunes made in no time: they're like shirts made in no time--it's ten to one if they hang long together. "And now it's plain enough why you can't eat or drink, or sleep, or do anything. All your mind's allotted into railways; for you shan't make me believe that Eel-Pie Island's the only one. Oh, no! I can see by the looks of you. Why, in a little time, if you haven't as many lines in your face as there are lines laid down! Every one of your features seems cut up--and all seem travelling from one another. Six months ago, Caudle, you hadn't a wrinkle; yes, you'd a cheek as smooth as any china, and now your face is like the Map of England. "At your time of life, too! You, who were for always going small and sure! You to make heads-and-tails of your money in this way! It's that stock-broker's dog at Flam Cottage--he's bitten you, I'm sure of it. You're not fit to manage your own property now; and I should only be acting the part of a good wife if I were to call in the mad- doctors.