"And now, catch you stopping at the Eel-Pie line! Oh no; I know your aggravating spirit. In a day or two I shall see another fine flourish in the paper, with a proposal for a branch from Eel-Pie Island to the Chelsea Bun-house. Give you a mile of rail, and--I know you men--you'll take a hundred. Well, if it didn't make me quiver to read that stuff in the paper,--and your name to it! But I suppose it was Mr. Prettyman's work; for his precious name's among 'em. How you tell the people 'that eel-pies are now become an essential element of civilisation'--I learnt all the words by heart, that I might say 'em to you--'that the Eastern population of London are cut off from the blessings of such a necessary--and that by means of the projected line eel-pies will be brought home to the business and bosoms of Ratcliff Highway and the adjacent dependencies.' Well, when you men--lords of the creation, as you call yourselves--do get together to make up a company, or anything of the sort--is there any story-book can come up to you? And so you look solemnly in one another's faces, and, never so much as moving the corners of your mouths, pick one another's pockets. No, I'm not using hard words, Mr. Caudle--but only the words that's proper. "And this I MUST say. Whatever you've got, I'm none the better for it. You never give me any of your Eel-Pie shares. What do you say? "YOU WILL GIVE ME SOME? "Not I--I'll have nothing to do with any wickedness of the kind. If, like any other husband, you choose to throw a heap of money into my lap--what? "YOU'LL THINK OF IT? WHEN THE EEL-PIES GO UP? "Then I know what they're worth--they'll never fetch a farthing." "She was suddenly silent"--writes Caudle--"and I was sinking into sleep, when she elbowed me, and cried, 'Caudle, do you think they'll be up to-morrow?'" LECTURE XXXIV--MRS. CAUDLE, SUSPECTING THAT MR. CAUDLE HAS MADE HIS WILL, IS "ONLY ANXIOUS, AS A WIFE," TO KNOW ITS PROVISIONS "There, I always said you'd a strong mind when you liked, Caudle; and what you've just been doing proves it. Some people won't make a will, because they think they must die directly afterwards. Now, you're above that, love, aren't you? Nonsense; you know very well what I mean. I know your will's made, for Scratcherly told me so. What? "YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT? "Well, I'm sure! That's a pretty thing for a man to say to his wife. I know he's too much of a man of business to talk; but I suppose there's a way of telling things without speaking them. And when I put the question to him, lawyer as he is, he hadn't the face to deny it.