My dear boy, I’m not a perfect fool. A man thinks a woman never sees anything unless she looks at it with both eyes at once wide open. Don’t you know that she can see things through the back of her head with a stone wall in between? GERALD. What have you seen, then? MRS. DOT. I’ve seen a thousand things. I’ve seen your eyes light up when I came into the room, I’ve seen you watch me when you thought I wasn’t looking. I’ve seen you scowl at any young fool who paid me an outrageous compliment. I’ve seen the pleasure it gave you to do me any trifling service. I’ve seen you watch for the opportunity of putting my cloak on my shoulders after the play. And--I’m sorry--but I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re in love with me. I dare say the fact has escaped your notice, but that’s only because men are so deplorably stupid. GERALD. [_Gravely._] D’you think it’s quite kind to laugh at me now? MRS. DOT. But I’m not laughing at you, my dear. I’m so pleased, and so flattered and so touched. At first I thought I was only a fool, and that I saw those things only because I wanted to. And when your hand trembled a little as it took mine, I was afraid it was only my hand that was trembling. And at last when I was certain that you were just as much in love with me as I was with you, I was so glad that I cried for two hours. And I had to use a whole box of powder before I could make myself presentable again. GERALD. [_Grimly._] I’m afraid you’ll think me an utter brute. I ought to have told you long ago that I’m engaged to be married. MRS. DOT. Gerald! GERALD. I’ve been engaged to Nellie Sellenger for the last three years. MRS. DOT. Why didn’t you tell me? GERALD. No one was supposed to know anything about it. And--I was afraid of losing you. Oh, Dot, Dot, I love you with all my heart. And I’m so glad to be forced to tell you at last. MRS. DOT. But I don’t understand in the least. GERALD. You know Nellie Sellenger is an old friend of mine. MRS. DOT. Yes, it was at the Sellengers’ I first met you. GERALD. Well, three years ago we were staying at the same place in the country, and I was a young fool. MRS. DOT. You mean that there was no other girl there, and so you flirted with her. But you need not have asked her to marry you. GERALD. [_Apologetically._] It was the merest accident. It came to pieces in my ’ands, so to speak. MRS. DOT. Really? GERALD. We were taking a walk in the garden after dinner, and a perfectly absurd moon was shining. It seemed the obvious thing to do. MRS. DOT. And of course she accepted. The girl of eighteen always does. GERALD. But Lady Sellenger refused to hear of it. She thought me most ineligible. MRS. DOT. Lady Sellenger’s a sensible woman. She was quite right. GERALD.