Mrs. Dot: A FarceMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
Mrs. Dot: A Farce
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
English drama -- 20th century; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Drama; Widows -- Drama
It’s generally understood that we shall only get our deserts.
[NELLIE _watches them go from over her shoulder. She sees that_
FREDDIE _is hanging back. She smiles and elaborately disregards
him. He comes forward and leans over her chair._
NELLIE.
Aren’t you going with the others?
FREDDIE.
Do you mind if I stay with you?
NELLIE.
I like it.
FREDDIE.
Jolly here, isn’t it?
NELLIE.
Awfully jolly.
FREDDIE.
I’ve not congratulated you on your engagement yet.
NELLIE.
I didn’t expect you would.
FREDDIE.
Why?
NELLIE.
Oh, I don’t know.
FREDDIE.
It seems a long time since we first met, doesn’t it?
NELLIE.
Why?
FREDDIE.
Because I seem to know you so well.
NELLIE.
You’re very easy to get to know, aren’t you?
FREDDIE.
I say, you look just like another rose in this garden.
NELLIE.
I suppose you say that to every girl who sits here?
FREDDIE.
I’ve never said it to any one but you.
NELLIE.
They tell me you’re very impressionable.
FREDDIE.
They lie.
NELLIE.
I think I shall take off my hat.
FREDDIE.
Yes, do.
[_She proceeds to do so. She pretends that she cannot._
NELLIE.
Oh, how stupid of me! Something has caught.
FREDDIE.
May I help you?
NELLIE.
I’m afraid I’m giving you a lot of trouble.
[_He helps her, and she gives a little scream._
FREDDIE.
Oh, I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you?
NELLIE.
No, but it tickled.
[_She takes off the hat. One hand of hers remains in his. Their
eyes meet for the first time, and they smile._
FREDDIE.
I say, what a pretty hand you have! It looks so white on mine, doesn’t
it?
[MRS. DOT _creeps back and stands behind a bush, so that she cannot
be seen_.
NELLIE.
I rather like your hand. It’s so strong and brown.
FREDDIE.
You know, you’re awfully easy to get on with. Sometimes I feel
dreadfully shy and nervous with women, but I can think of all sorts of
things I want to say to you.
NELLIE.
_I_ seem to have known you all my life.
FREDDIE.
[_Impulsively._] Isn’t it jolly here?
NELLIE.
Awfully jolly.
[_He looks at her for a moment._
FREDDIE.
I want to ask you something. You won’t be angry, will you?
NELLIE.
No.
FREDDIE.
May I kiss you?
NELLIE.
No.
FREDDIE.
It’s awfully unkind of you.
NELLIE.
You shouldn’t have asked.
FREDDIE.
Shouldn’t I? I wanted to, badly.
NELLIE.
There are some things one should do without asking.
FREDDIE.
You are a brick.
[_He kisses her. As he does so_, HOLLINGTON _comes in and sees
them. He stops for a moment in astonishment, then withdraws._
FREDDIE.
Let’s go on the river, shall we?
NELLIE.
I told Gerald I was too tired.
FREDDIE.
Oh, hang Gerald!
NELLIE.
We might go and play the piano in the drawing-room.
FREDDIE.
I’m awfully fond of music. Cake-walks, and things like that, you know.
[_They get up._ MRS. DOT _comes forward_.
MRS. DOT.
Are you going? I thought you were tired.
NELLIE.
We’re just going to look at the kitchen garden.
FREDDIE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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