My dear boy, I’m not keeping you from spending an idyllic afternoon with Nellie. You’ve forced this conversation upon me. I assure you it’s most distasteful. GERALD. If I had married you, I should certainly have beaten you with a big stick. MRS. DOT. What do you think is my chief characteristic? GERALD. That’s a question I _can_ answer. The most confounded and aggravating unreasonableness that I ever saw. MRS. DOT. Nonsense. It’s obvious that my chief characteristic is a sweet and yielding nature. But as there’s no likelihood of our agreeing on that, what do you think is the second? GERALD. Obstinacy. MRS. DOT. Well, I prefer to call it strength of mind. Now, I’ll acknowledge that I was in love with you--a month ago. That’s a feather in your cap. GERALD. Oh, I wish we were back again. I’ve had such rotten luck. MRS. DOT. But when I saw that my sweetness was likely to be wasted on the desert air, I made up my mind to cure myself. First I cried for two days. GERALD. Dot. MRS. DOT. No, don’t sympathise. I have rather a high colour, and when I’ve had a good cry it always improves my complexion. After that, I ordered some new frocks, and I bought a diamond necklace that I’d been hankering after for some time. GERALD. And that thoroughly consoled you, I suppose? MRS. DOT. It helped. Then I came to the conclusion that there were as good fish in the sea as ever came out of it. I thought you over. After all, you’re not really very good-looking, are you? GERALD. I’m not aware that I ever made any pretence of being so. MRS. DOT. And I’m sure no one could accuse you of being extremely amusing. GERALD. I have no doubt I’m excessively dull. MRS. DOT. I couldn’t help seeing that you’d suit Nellie much better than you would have suited me. She has that comfortable stupidity which the average Englishman looks upon as the highest recommendation for a wife. GERALD. It’s charming of you to say so. MRS. DOT. She _is_ a little dull, isn’t she? GERALD. I don’t think her so. MRS. DOT. Doesn’t time hang rather heavily on your hands now and then? Isn’t it difficult to find topics of conversation? GERALD. I don’t find it so. MRS. DOT. Ah--she does. GERALD. And the long and short of it is that the emotion which you dignify with the name of love, had entirely disappeared after a week. MRS. DOT. Make it ten days to be on the safe side. GERALD. I congratulate you. MRS. DOT. You wouldn’t have it otherwise, surely? GERALD. Of course not. MRS. DOT. Then all is for the best in the best of all possible worlds. GERALD. [_Furiously._] I think you must be quite heartless. MRS. DOT. [_Delighted._] Ah, that’s what I said to you a month ago, Philippine. GERALD. Now, perhaps, you’d like to know what my feeling is towards you? MRS. DOT. No, I’m quite indifferent, thanks! GERALD. Well, I shall tell you for all that. It’s a joke to you, and you can afford to laugh at it. [_He goes up to her and then stops suddenly._