If you can spare me two minutes of your valuable time, I should like to make a few observations to you. FREDDIE. Collect yourself, Charles, to receive the words of wisdom that fall from Mr. Halstane’s lips. CHARLES. Things is very bad on the Stock Exchange, sir. GERALD. Charles, I have no objection to your sitting in my arm-chair and putting your feet on my table. I am willing to ignore the fact that you smoke my cigars and drink my whiskey. BLENKINSOP. [_Sipping._] You show excellent judgment, Charles. The whiskey’s capital. CHARLES. [_Imperturbably._] Pot-still, sir. Fifteen years in bottle. GERALD. I can even bear with equanimity that you should read my letters. For the most part they’re excessively tedious, and they will only show you how deplorable is the education of the upper classes. But I must insist on your _not_ reading my paper till I’ve done with it. CHARLES. I’m very sorry, sir. I thought there was no objection. GERALD. A newspaper, a suit of clothes, and a bottle of wine are three things at which I prefer.... CHARLES. To ’ave the first cut in, sir. GERALD. I thank you, Charles; I couldn’t have expressed my meaning more idiomatically. FREDDIE. [_Laughing._] You’d better have a drink. CHARLES. Allow me, sir. [_He mixes a whiskey and soda._ GERALD. You need not pour out the whiskey with such a generous hand as when you help yourself. Thank you. CHARLES. Them mining shares of yours is very low, sir. GERALD. They are. CHARLES. If you’ll remember, sir, I was all against them at the time you bought. BLENKINSOP. You are a jewel, Charles, if besides administering to your master’s wants you advise him in his financial transactions. GERALD. Unless I’m mistaken, Charles strongly recommended me to invest my money in public-houses. CHARLES. Them being frequented in peace and war, and not subject to clandestine removals. In peace men drink to celebrate their ’appiness, and in war to drown their sorrow. GERALD. [_Smiling._] You are a philosopher, Charles, and it cuts me to the quick that I should be forced to deny myself the charm of your conversation. CHARLES. [_Astonished._] I beg your pardon, sir? GERALD. I am endeavouring to give you notice in such a manner as not to outrage your susceptibilities. CHARLES. Me, sir? I’m sorry if I don’t give satisfaction. GERALD. On the contrary, you give every satisfaction. It has never been my good fortune to run across a servant who had an equal talent for blacking boots and for repartee. I am grateful for the care with which you have kept my wardrobe, and the encouragement you have offered to my attempts at humour. I have never seen you perturbed by a rebuke, or discouraged by ill-temper. Your merits, in fact, are overwhelming, but I’m afraid I must ask you to find another place. BLENKINSOP. You really shouldn’t be so abrupt, Gerald. Look at him staggering under the blow. CHARLES.