With a slight droop of his eyelids, he said: “Don’t ask foolish
questions, Marmion. Well, the castaway had a hard pull for life. He
wouldn’t have lived at all, if a breeze hadn’t come up and let us get
away to the coast. It was the beginning of the monsoon, and we went
bowling down towards Port Darwin, a crowd of Malay proas in our wake.
However, the poor beggar thought he was going to die, and one night he
told me his story. He was an escaped convict from Freemantle, Western
Australia. He had, with others, been taken up to the northern coast to
do some Government work, and had escaped in the dingey. His crime was
stealing funds belonging to a Squatting and Mining Company. There was
this extenuating circumstance: he could have replaced the money, which,
as he said, he’d only intended to use for a few weeks. But a personal
enemy threw suspicion on him, accounts were examined, and though he
showed he’d only used the money while more of his own was on the way to
him, the Company insisted on prosecuting him. For two reasons: because
it was itself in bad odour, and hoped by this trial to divert public
attention from its own dirty position; and because he had against him
not only his personal enemy, but those who wanted to hit the Company
through him. He’d filched to be able to meet the large expenses of his
wife’s establishment. Into this he didn’t enter minutely, and he didn’t
blame her for having so big a menage; he only said he was sorry that he
hadn’t been able to support it without having to come, even for a day,
to the stupidity of stealing. After two years he escaped. He asked me
to write a letter to his wife, which he’d dictate. Marmion, you or I
couldn’t have dictated that letter if we’d taken a year to do it. There
was no religion in it, no poppy-cock, but straightforward talk, full of
sorrow for what he’d done, and for the disgrace he’d brought on her.
I remember the last few sentences as if I’d seen them yesterday. ‘I am
dying on the open sea, disgraced, but free,’ he said. ‘I am not innocent
in act, but I was not guilty of intentional wrong. I did what I did
that you should have all you wished, all you ought to have. I ask
but this--and I shall soon ask for nothing--that you will have a kind
thought, now and then, for the man who always loved you, and loves
you yet. I have never blamed you that you did not come near me in my
trouble; but I wish you were here for a moment before I go away for
ever. You must forgive me now, for you will be free. If I were a better
man I would say, God bless you. In my last conscious moments I will
think of you, and speak your name. And now good-bye--an everlasting
good-bye. I was your loving husband, and am your lover until death.’ And
it was signed, ‘Boyd Madras.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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