I tried to speak gently to her. I saw that her present position must
be a trial. I advised her to take more rest, or she would break down
altogether, for she was weak and nervous; I hinted that she might have
to give up entirely, if she continued to tax herself heedlessly; and,
finally, that I would speak to Mrs. Falchion about her. I was scarcely
prepared for her action then. Tears came to her eyes, and she said to
me, her hand involuntarily clasping my arm: “Oh no, no! I ask you not to
speak to madame. I will sleep--I will rest. Indeed, I will. This service
is so much to me. She is most generous. It is because I am so altogether
hers, night and day, that she pays me well. And the money is so much. It
is my honour--my dead brother’s honour. You are kind at heart; you will
make me strong with medicine, and I will ask God to bless you. I could
not suffer such poverty again. And then, it is my honour!”
I felt that she would not have given way thus had not her nerves been
shaken, had she not lived so much alone, and irregularly, so far as her
own rest and comfort were concerned, and at such perpetual cost to her
energy. Mrs. Falchion, I knew, was selfish, and would not, or could
not, see that she was hard upon the girl, by such exactions as midnight
reading and loss of sleep. She demanded not merely physical but mental
energy--a complete submission of both; and when this occurred with a
sensitive, high-strung girl, she was literally feeding on another’s
life-blood. If she had been told this, she, no doubt, would have been
very much surprised.
I reassured Justine. I told her that I should say nothing directly
to Mrs. Falchion, for I saw she was afraid of unpleasantness; but I
impressed upon her that she must spare herself, or she would break
down, and extorted a promise that she would object to sitting up after
midnight to read to Mrs. Falchion.
When this was done, she said: “But, you see, it is not madame’s fault
that I am troubled.”
“I do not wish,” I said, “to know any secret,--I am a doctor, not a
priest,--but if there is anything you can tell me, in which I might
be able to help you, you may command me in so far as is possible.”
Candidly, I think I was too inquiring in those days.
She smiled wistfully, and replied: “I will think of what you say so
kindly, and perhaps, some day soon, I will tell you of such trouble as
I have. But, believe me, it is no question of wrong at all, by any
one--now. The wrong is over. It is simply that a debt of honour must be
satisfied; it concerns my poor dead brother.”
“Are you going to relatives in France?” I asked.
“No; I have no relatives, no near friends. I am alone in the world. My
mother I cannot remember; she died when I was very young. My father had
riches, but they went before he died. Still, France is home, and I must
go there.” She turned her head away to the long wastes of sea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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