Burns got up and took a turn or two up and down the room, thinking things
out. His face was graver than patients usually saw it; there was in it,
however, a look of determination which grew, moment by moment, as he
walked. Presently he came back to the bedside and sat down again.
"Suppose you tell me all about it, Jack," said he. "You haven't done me
that honour, yet, you know. Will it be too hard on you? Just to make a
clean breast of every thought and every experience which has led you to
this point? I know I'm rather forcing myself upon you as your physician.
If you prefer, I'll withdraw from the case, in favour of any better man
you may choose, and send for him to-day."
Leaver's head turned back again. "I know no better man," he said, and
their eyes met.
"There are plenty of better men," Burns went on, "but I confess I want
this case, and am ready to take advantage of having it in my house, for
the present, at least. Well, then,--if you can trust me, why not do as
I suggest?"
Leaver shivered a little, in the warm June light, and put one hand for a
moment over his eyes.
"You don't know what you ask, Red," he said, slowly.
"Don't I? Perhaps not. Yet--I have a notion that I do. It would be a
trifle easier to face the rack and thumbscrew, eh? Well, let's get it
over. Possibly telling will ease you a bit, after all. It works that way
sometimes."
By and by, persisting, gently questioning, helping by his quick
understanding of a situation almost before Leaver had unwillingly
pictured it, he had the whole story. It was almost precisely the story
he had guessed,--an old story, repeated by many such sufferers from
overwork and heavy responsibility, but new to each in its entirety of
torture, even to this man, who, still in his youthful prime, had himself
heard many such a tale from the unhappy lips of his patients, yet to whom
his own case seemed unique in its suffering and hopelessness.
The recital culminated in an incident so painful to the subject of it
that he could recount it only in the barest outlines. His listener,
however, by the power of his experience and his sympathy, could fill in
every detail. A day had come, some six weeks before, when Leaver, though
thoroughly worn out by severe and long continued strain, had attempted
to operate. The case was an important one, the issue doubtful. Friends of
the patient had insisted that no one else should take the eminent young
surgeon's place, and, although he had had more than one inner warning, in
recent operations, that his nerve was not what it had been, his pride had
bid him see the thing through. He had given himself an energizing
hypodermic,--he had never done that before,--and had gone into it. There
had come a terrible moment.... Leaver's lips grew white as he tried to
tell it.
He felt his friend's warm, firm hand upon his own as he faltered.
"Steady, old fellow," said Burns's quiet voice. "We've got this nearly
over. You'll be better afterward."
After a little Leaver went on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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