DON PEDRO. Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for out of question, you were born in a merry hour. BEATRICE. No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. Cousins, God give you joy! LEONATO. Niece, will you look to those things I told you of? BEATRICE. I cry you mercy, uncle. By your Grace’s pardon. [Exit.] DON PEDRO. By my troth, a pleasant spirited lady. LEONATO. There’s little of the melancholy element in her, my lord: she is never sad but when she sleeps; and not ever sad then, for I have heard my daughter say, she hath often dreamed of unhappiness and waked herself with laughing. DON PEDRO. She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband. LEONATO. O! by no means: she mocks all her wooers out of suit. DON PEDRO. She were an excellent wife for Benedick. LEONATO. O Lord! my lord, if they were but a week married, they would talk themselves mad. DON PEDRO. Count Claudio, when mean you to go to church? CLAUDIO. Tomorrow, my lord. Time goes on crutches till love have all his rites. LEONATO. Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just seven-night; and a time too brief too, to have all things answer my mind. DON PEDRO. Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing; but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules’ labours, which is, to bring Signior Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection the one with the other. I would fain have it a match; and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction. LEONATO. My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights’ watchings. CLAUDIO. And I, my lord. DON PEDRO. And you too, gentle Hero? HERO. I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a good husband. DON PEDRO. And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband that I know. Thus far can I praise him; he is of a noble strain, of approved valour, and confirmed honesty. I will teach you how to humour your cousin, that she shall fall in love with Benedick; and I, with your two helps, will so practise on Benedick that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no longer an archer: his glory shall be ours, for we are the only love-gods. Go in with me, and I will tell you my drift. [Exeunt.] SCENE II. Another room in Leonato’s house. Enter Don John and Borachio. DON JOHN. It is so; the Count Claudio shall marry the daughter of Leonato. BORACHIO. Yea, my lord; but I can cross it. DON JOHN. Any bar, any cross, any impediment will be medicinable to me: I am sick in displeasure to him, and whatsoever comes athwart his affection ranges evenly with mine. How canst thou cross this marriage? BORACHIO. Not honestly, my lord; but so covertly that no dishonesty shall appear in me. DON JOHN. Show me briefly how.