BENEDICK. Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while? BEATRICE. Yea, and I will weep a while longer. BENEDICK. I will not desire that. BEATRICE. You have no reason; I do it freely. BENEDICK. Surely I do believe your fair cousin is wronged. BEATRICE. Ah! how much might the man deserve of me that would right her. BENEDICK. Is there any way to show such friendship? BEATRICE. A very even way, but no such friend. BENEDICK. May a man do it? BEATRICE. It is a man’s office, but not yours. BENEDICK. I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange? BEATRICE. As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you; but believe me not, and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin. BENEDICK. By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me. BEATRICE. Do not swear by it, and eat it. BENEDICK. I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you. BEATRICE. Will you not eat your word? BENEDICK. With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee. BEATRICE. Why then, God forgive me! BENEDICK. What offence, sweet Beatrice? BEATRICE. You have stayed me in a happy hour: I was about to protest I loved you. BENEDICK. And do it with all thy heart. BEATRICE. I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest. BENEDICK. Come, bid me do anything for thee. BEATRICE. Kill Claudio. BENEDICK. Ha! not for the wide world. BEATRICE. You kill me to deny it. Farewell. BENEDICK. Tarry, sweet Beatrice. BEATRICE. I am gone, though I am here: there is no love in you: nay, I pray you, let me go. BENEDICK. Beatrice,— BEATRICE. In faith, I will go. BENEDICK. We’ll be friends first. BEATRICE. You dare easier be friends with me than fight with mine enemy. BENEDICK. Is Claudio thine enemy? BEATRICE. Is he not approved in the height a villain, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O! that I were a man. What! bear her in hand until they come to take hands, and then, with public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour,—O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place. BENEDICK. Hear me, Beatrice,— BEATRICE. Talk with a man out at a window! a proper saying! BENEDICK. Nay, but Beatrice,— BEATRICE. Sweet Hero! she is wronged, she is slandered, she is undone. BENEDICK. Beat— BEATRICE. Princes and Counties! Surely, a princely testimony, a goodly Count Comfect; a sweet gallant, surely! O! that I were a man for his sake, or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into curtsies, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now as valiant as Hercules, that only tells a lie and swears it. I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving. BENEDICK. Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee. BEATRICE. Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it.