D. John.
I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here?
What news, Borachio?
[Enter Borachio.]
Bora.
I came yonder from a great supper; the prince, your brother, is
royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you intelligence
of an intended marriage.
D. John.
Will it serve for any model to build mischief on?
What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?
Bora.
Marry, it is your brother's right hand.
D. John.
Who? the most exquisite Claudio?
Bora.
Even he.
D. John.
A proper squire! And who? and who? which way looks he?
Bora.
Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.
D. John.
A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?
Bora.
Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty
room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad
conference: I whipt me behind the arras; and there heard it
agreed upon, that the prince should woo Hero for himself,
and having obtained her give her to Count Claudio.
D. John.
Come, come, let us thither; this may prove food to my
displeasure: that young start-up hath all the glory of my
overthrow; if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way:
You are both sure, and will assist me?
Con.
To the death, my lord.
D. John.
Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that
I am subdued: 'Would the cook were of my mind! Shall we go prove
what's to be done?
Bora.
We'll wait upon your lordship.
[Exeunt.]
ACT 2.
Scene I.--A hall in Leonato's house.
[Enter Leonato, Antonio, Hero, Beatrice, and others.]
Leon.
Was not Count John here at supper?
Ant.
I saw him not.
Beat.
How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I am
heart-burned an hour after.
Hero.
He is of a very melancholy disposition.
Beat.
He were an excellent man that were made just in the mid-way
between him and Benedick; the one is too like an image, and says
nothing; and the other too like my lady's eldest son, evermore
tattling.
Leon.
Then half signior Benedick's tongue in count John's mouth,
and half count John's melancholy in signior Benedick's face,--
Beat.
With a good leg, and a good foot, uncle, and money enough in
his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world,-- if he
could get her good will.
Leon.
By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband if
thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
Ant.
In faith, she is too curst.
Beat.
Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God's sending
that way: for it is said, 'God sends a curst cow short horns;'
but to a cow too curst he sends none.
Leon.
So, by being too curst God will send you no horns.
Beat.
Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am
at him upon my knees every morning and evening: Lord! I could not
endure a husband with a beard on his face: I had rather lie
inwoollen!
Leon.
You may light upon a husband that hath no beard.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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