Urs.
You could never do him so ill-well unless you were the very man.
Here's his dry hand up and down. You are he, you are he!
Ant.
At a word, I am not.
Urs.
Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit?
Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum you are he. Graces will
appear, and there's an end. [ They step aside.]
Beat.
Will you not tell me who told you so?
Bene.
No, you shall pardon me.
Beat.
Nor will you not tell me who you are?
Bene.
Not now.
Beat.
That I was disdainful, and that I had my good wit out of the
'Hundred Merry Tales.' Well, this was Signior Benedick that said
so.
Bene.
What's he?
Beat.
I am sure you know him well enough.
Bene.
Not I, believe me.
Beat.
Did he never make you laugh?
Bene.
I pray you, what is he?
Beat.
Why, he is the Prince's jester, a very dull fool. Only his gift
is in devising impossible slanders. None but libertines delight
in him; and the commendation is not in his wit, but
in his villany; for he both pleases men and angers them, and then
they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in the fleet. I
would he had boarded me.
Bene.
When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say.
Beat.
Do, do. He'll but break a comparison or two on me; which
peradventure, not marked or not laugh'd at, strikes him into
melancholy; and then there's a partridge wing saved, for the
fool will eat no supper that night.
[Music.]
We must follow the leaders.
Bene.
In every good thing.
Beat.
Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next
turning.
[Dance. Exeunt (all but Don John, Borachio, and Claudio].
John.
Sure my brother is amorous on Hero and hath withdrawn her father
to break with him about it. The ladies follow her and but one
visor remains.
Bora.
And that is Claudio. I know him by his bearing.
John.
Are you not Signior Benedick?
Claud.
You know me well. I am he.
John.
Signior, you are very near my brother in his love. He is
enamour'd on Hero. I pray you dissuade him from her; she is no
equal for his birth. You may do the part of an honest man in it.
Claud.
How know you he loves her?
John.
I heard him swear his affection.
Bora.
So did I too, and he swore he would marry her tonight.
John.
Come, let us to the banquet.
[Exeunt. Manet Claudio.]
Claud.
Thus answer I in name of Benedick
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.
[Unmasks.]
'Tis certain so. The Prince wooes for himself.
Friendship is constant in all other things
Save in the office and affairs of love.
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues;
Let every eye negotiate for itself
And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch
Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.
This is an accident of hourly proof,
Which I mistrusted not. Farewell therefore Hero!
[Enter Benedick [unmasked]].
Bene.
Count Claudio?
Claud.
Yea, the same.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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