Beat.
Yea, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side
of care. My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart.
Claud.
And so she doth, cousin.
Beat.
Good Lord, for alliance! Thus goes every one to the world but I,
and I am sunburnt. I may sit in a corner and cry 'Heigh-ho for a
husband!'
Pedro.
Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
Beat.
I would rather have one of your father's getting. Hath your Grace
ne'er a brother like you? Your father got excellent husbands, if
a maid could come by them.
Pedro.
Will you have me, lady?
Beat.
No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days: your
Grace is too costly to wear every day. But I beseech your Grace
pardon me. I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.
Pedro.
Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you,
for out o' question you were born in a merry hour.
Beat.
No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star
danc'd, and under that was I born. Cousins, God give you joy!
Leon.
Niece, will you look to those things I told you of?
Beat.
I cry you mercy, uncle, By your Grace's pardon.
[Exit.]
Pedro.
By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady.
Leon.
There's little of the melancholy element in her, my lord. She is
never sad but when she sleeps, and not ever sad then; for I have
heard my daughter say she hath often dreamt of
unhappiness and wak'd herself with laughing.
Pedro.
She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.
Leon.
O, by no means! She mocks all her wooers out of suit.
Pedro.
She were an excellent wife for Benedick.
Leon.
O Lord, my lord! if they were but a week married, they would talk
themselves mad.
Pedro.
County Claudio, when mean you to go to church?
Claud.
To-morrow, my lord. Time goes on crutches till love have all his
rites.
Leon.
Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just sevennight;
and a time too brief too, to have all things answer my mind.
Pedro.
Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing; but I warrant
thee, Claudio, the time shall not go dully by us. I will in the
interim undertake one of Hercules' labours,
which is, to bring Signior Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a
mountain of affection th' one with th' other. I would fain have
it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion it if you three will
but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction.
Leon.
My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights' watchings.
Claud.
And I, my lord.
Pedro.
And you too, gentle Hero?
Hero.
I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a good
husband.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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