"She picked me the first day to look after the la-ads. 'Peter,' she
says, 'me dear boys are cr-razy to play in the stables, but I can't help
worryin' for fear they'll get under the horses' feet. I have perfect
confidence in you,' she says, 'and I'll put them under yer special
care. Just keep yer eye on the la-ads an' see that they don't get
hur-rt.'
"'Thank ye, ma'am,' says I, flattered by the attention, I'll do the best
I can.' I hadn't made the acquaintance o' the little darlin's yet, or I
would 'a' chucked me job on the spot.
"Master Augustus--he's the youngest--has gold curls an' blue eyes and a
smile as innocint as honey. He's the kind the ladies stops an' kisses,
and asks, 'Whose little boy is you?' At the first glance ye'd think to
see a couple o' wings sproutin' out behind, but when ye knowed him
intimately, ye'd look for the horns an' tail. I've pulled that little
divvil three times out o' the duck pond, and I've fished him out from
the grain chute with a boat hook. I couldn't tell ye the number o' trees
he's climbed after birds' eggs and got stuck in the top of; we keeps a
groom an' ladder on tap, so to speak. One afternoon I caught the four o'
them smokin' cigarettes made o' dried corn silk up in the hay loft as
comfortable as ye please--'tis many a stable-boy as has been bounced for
less. Between them they finished up the dope the vet'rinary surgeon left
when Blue Gipsy had the heaves, thinkin' it was whisky--an' serves them
right, I say. I didn't tell on 'em, though, when the doctor asked what I
thought the trouble was; I said I guessed it was green apples.
"But them's only the minor divarsions that occupy their leisure; they're
nothin' to the things they think of when they really get down to
business. The first thing they done was to pretend the victoria was a
pirate ship; an' they scratched the paint all up a-tryin' to board her.
Joe turned 'em out o' doors to play, an' they dug up the whole o' the
strawberry bed huntin' for hidden treasure. Their next move was to take
off their shoes an' stockin's, turn their clothes wrong side out, an'
dirty up their faces with huckleberry juice--ye would have sworn they
was a lot o' jabberin' Dagoes. They went beggin' in all the houses o'
the neighbourhood, includin' Willowbrook, an' Nora never knew them an'
give them some cold potatoes.
"One day last week they nearly broke their blame young necks slidin'
down the waggon-shed roof on a greased tea-tray. There's a pile o' straw
at the bottom that kind of acted as a buffer, but Master Augustus didn't
steer straight an' went over the edge. 'Twas only a drop o' four feet,
but he come up lookin' damaged.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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