Much Ado About SomethingLawrence, C. E. (Charles Edward)
Science
Much Ado About Something
Lawrence, C. E. (Charles Edward)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Fairies -- Fiction
Bim became furious. He ran at full speed along the Embankment,
viciously poking with his wand every love-lorn pair: and on, through
Story’s Gate into St. James’s Park. As he went he passed scores of
strolling lovers. He put his spell on every pair of them.
Through the Green Park he hurried, and across Piccadilly into Hyde Park.
Wherever he went he carried magic, and produced its consequences. Love’s
multitudinous tongues were no longer tied. Thoughts hitherto dumb found
glowing speech.
The gnome had run amok with a vengeance.
"Darling, darling, darling, darling!" said one young man in an ecstasy
increasing with every syllable.
"Darling, darling, darling!" came the feminine answer, in tones that
thrilled.
Then another sweet voice was gently borne upon the westering wind.
"I know where there’s the teeniest duck of a saucepan set which will
just suit our wee little homey."
The stars twinkled.
"Does-um!" was the masculine answer.
Still the stars twinkled.
"Ted," said Emma, "do you love me, love me?" She had been to a series
of popular melodramas, and saw herself languid and rapturous. She asked
questions emotionally, with the emphasis that comes with repetition.
"That I do just, old gell!" came the reply.
"And will you, my heart, always love me, love me?"
"S’welp me! old gell, I will!"
"Then another, Ted." There was a noise as of machine guns barking at a
blue distance. Emma seemed satisfied.
Bim was pleased. He had not been looking for words in purple, and so
was unable to feel disappointed. But as he worked from chair to chair
he could not help accumulating the wish that more of the minor poet had
been born in the common people. The prose that came was better than a
mere bald narrative of time; but, surely, was not worthy of Aphrodite’s
doves.
Gradually the better came. It was the work of unconscious imitation.
Examples were being quickly followed in many directions. Several
cabmen, having earned their day’s requirements and a little over, were
now using their cabs and still unwearied horses to convey for short
distances fares too poor to pay for a ride. Motor-cabs and private cars
actually buzzed with philanthropy. Policemen, carrying out and carrying
on the inspector’s orders, were urgently helping down-at-heel gentlefolk
to be as comfortable as out-of-door conditions permitted.
So, too, lovers on that blessed evening, influenced by Bim, began to be
worthy of Juliet, and their fellows of the Heaven-kissed company to whom
passion has become sanctified, and the possession of love is a joy
crowned, a power enthroned, making of its votaries queens and
princes---- Ah me, and so on! The series of lovers multitudinous
gradually became ashamed of their ungracefulness. They walked now, or
sat with some better sense of picturesque propriety. Sprawling and
hugging were postponed for the armchairs at home. The parks became
tolerable to the married.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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