England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
‘MR. PIPKIN (M.R.C.S.) read a short but most interesting communication in
which he sought to prove the complete belief of Sir William Courtenay,
otherwise Thorn, recently shot at Canterbury, in the Homoeopathic system.
The section would bear in mind that one of the Homoeopathic doctrines
was, that infinitesimal doses of any medicine which would occasion the
disease under which the patient laboured, supposing him to be in a
healthy state, would cure it. Now, it was a remarkable
circumstance—proved in the evidence—that the deceased Thorn employed a
woman to follow him about all day with a pail of water, assuring her that
one drop (a purely homoeopathic remedy, the section would observe),
placed upon his tongue, after death, would restore him. What was the
obvious inference? That Thorn, who was marching and countermarching in
osier beds, and other swampy places, was impressed with a presentiment
that he should be drowned; in which case, had his instructions been
complied with, he could not fail to have been brought to life again
instantly by his own prescription. As it was, if this woman, or any
other person, had administered an infinitesimal dose of lead and
gunpowder immediately after he fell, he would have recovered forthwith.
But unhappily the woman concerned did not possess the power of reasoning
by analogy, or carrying out a principle, and thus the unfortunate
gentleman had been sacrificed to the ignorance of the peasantry.
‘SECTION D.—STATISTICS.
OUT-HOUSE, BLACK BOY AND STOMACH-ACHE.
_President_—Mr. Slug. _Vice-Presidents_—Messrs. Noakes and Styles.
‘MR. KWAKLEY stated the result of some most ingenious statistical
inquiries relative to the difference between the value of the
qualification of several members of Parliament as published to the world,
and its real nature and amount. After reminding the section that every
member of Parliament for a town or borough was supposed to possess a
clear freehold estate of three hundred pounds per annum, the honourable
gentleman excited great amusement and laughter by stating the exact
amount of freehold property possessed by a column of legislators, in
which he had included himself. It appeared from this table, that the
amount of such income possessed by each was 0 pounds, 0 shillings, and 0
pence, yielding an average of the same. (Great laughter.) It was pretty
well known that there were accommodating gentlemen in the habit of
furnishing new members with temporary qualifications, to the ownership of
which they swore solemnly—of course as a mere matter of form. He argued
from these _data_ that it was wholly unnecessary for members of
Parliament to possess any property at all, especially as when they had
none the public could get them so much cheaper.
‘SUPPLEMENTARY SECTION, E.—UMBUGOLOGY AND DITCHWATERISICS.
_President_—Mr. Grub. _Vice Presidents_—Messrs. Dull and Dummy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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