The furious will that had animated him through all his solitary years
resented this intrusion, and was in revolt against the reason and the
logic of his heart. That will in him had reduced the social system to
its logical end, the destruction of the young by the old, and would
allow his creative faculty no other material. It must have nothing but
a bleak world of bitterness, and this it had imposed upon both his
happy temperament and his generous heart, so that even in life he had
been able to exercise nothing but a rather feeble kindness. His will
had been to hold up to the world a picture of the end to which it must
come, since splendour wrung from desolation must end in desolation.
And suddenly his will was defied by this amazing girl, all youth, all
joy, revealing the eternal loveliness of the human spirit that endures
though Empires fade away and societies come to chaos.
Very, very slowly, his will, which drew its force from the hypnotic
influence of horror, was thrust back, and light crept into his imagined
world, flowers blossomed in it, trees swayed in the wind, larks went
soaring above green hills blazing with yellow gorse, birds hopped to
their nests and sang, dogs barked and gambolled with delight--all his
frozen memories slowly melted, and sweet and simple pleasures came to
view to make a setting meet for Clara Day. And he remembered simple
people with a steady kindness, people like the little bookseller who
knew their world but believed in its redeeming goodness, people like a
woman who had once nursed him through a terrible illness and had never
ceased to pray for him, families where in his lonely youth in London he
had been welcome--all these he remembered and grouped round Clara to
make a better and a simpler world.
When his agony had run its course, and his old hypnotic will was
broken, he told himself that he must be content that Clara should be
the mistress of his imagination, since he had wrecked his own life and
had nothing to offer her. Obviously she had found the world good.
Nothing in her was theatrical, nothing baffled. He must reconcile
himself to the acceptance of those two days with her as in themselves
perfect, sufficient, and fruitful. Indeed, what need was there of
more? They had met as profoundly as they could ever hope to meet. She
would marry her lord, and gather about herself all the good and
pleasant things of the earth, and he could return to his work and build
it up anew.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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