"I don't know which--how should I know? But when I do know--when I meet
him! I'll spare her--but--but when we meet--we two--when my hands are on
his throat--"
He was on his feet again, the rage of dishonor ready to flame forth. De
Gollyer, putting his arm about him, recalled him with abrupt, military
sternness.
"Steady, steady again, dear old boy. Buck up now--get hold of yourself."
"Jim, it's awful!"
"It's tough--very tough!"
"Out of a clear sky--everything gone!"
"Come, now, walk up and down a bit--do you good."
Lightbody obeyed, locking his arms behind his back, his eyes on the
floor.
"Everything smashed to bits!"
"You adored her?" questioned De Gollyer in an indefinable tone.
"I adored her!" replied Lightbody explosively.
"Really now?"
"I adored her. There's nothing left now--nothing--nothing."
"Steady."
Lightbody, at the window, made another effort, controlled himself and
said, as a man might renounce an inheritance:
"You're right, Jim--but it's hard."
"Good spirit--fine, fine, very fine!" commented De Gollyer in critical
enthusiasm, "nothing public, eh? No scandal--not our class. Men of the
world. No shooting! People don't shoot any more. It's reform, you know,
for the preservation of bachelors."
The effort, the renunciation of his just vengeance, had exhausted
Lightbody, who turned and came back, putting out his hands to steady
himself.
"It isn't that, it's, it's--" Suddenly his fingers encountered on the
table a pair of gloves--his wife's gloves, forgotten there. He raised
them, holding them in his open palm, glanced at De Gollyer and, letting
them fall, suddenly unable to continue, turned aside his head.
"Take time--a good breath," said De Gollyer, in military fashion, "fill
your lungs. Splendid! That's it."
Lightbody, sitting down at the desk, wearily drew the gloves to him,
gazing fixedly at the crushed perfumed fingers.
"Why, Jim," he said finally, "I adore her so--if she can be
happier--happier with another--if that will make her happier than I can
make her--well, I'll step aside, I'll make no trouble--just for her,
just for what she's done for me."
The last words were hardly heard. This time, despite himself, De Gollyer
was tremendously affected.
"Superb! By George, that's grit!"
Lightbody raised his head with the fatigue of the struggle and the pride
of the victory written on it.
"Her happiness first," he said simply.
The accent with which it was spoken almost convinced De Gollyer.
"By Jove, you adore her!"
"I adore her," said Lightbody, lifting himself to his feet. This time it
came not as an explosion, but as a breath, some deep echo from the soul.
He stood steadily gazing at his friend. "You're right, Jim. You're
right. It's not our class. I'll face it down. There'll be no scandal.
No one shall know."
Their hands met with an instinctive motion. Then, touched by the fervor
of his friend's admiration, Lightbody moved wearily away, saying dully,
all in a breath:
"Like a thunderclap, Jim."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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