Burney, Charles, 1726-1814 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
I have only to add, gentlemen, that if upon
a perusal of the following sheets you shall find, as I am persuaded
you will, that my travels are also[2] in some measure, a matter of
national concern; I hope you will be kind enough to second my intended
application to parliament, that the charges of my future expeditions
may be defrayed at the public expence. This, gentlemen, may be done by
a very short clause; and as it will enable me to pursue my enquiries
with spirit, credit, and success, will lay a lasting obligation upon,_
_Gentlemen,_
_Your very obedient,_
_and devoted humble Servant,_
JOEL COLLIER.
[1] Vide the last Vol. of the _Philosophical Transactions_.
[2]—“He was the first who seemed to think my journey was, in some
measure, a matter of national concern.”
TOUR TO GERMANY, &c.
[Illustration: A collection of Instruments]
MUSICAL TRAVELS, _&c._
I was born in the Parish of _Gotham_, in the county of _Nottingham_:
my father was a sawyer, and my mother had, for many years before
her marriage, cried oysters and Newcastle-salmon about the streets
of London. Neither of them are said to have been remarkable for
their vocal or instrumental talents. My mother’s voice was, indeed,
exceedingly shrill and dissonant, as I have been credibly informed by
the neighbours; however, I was no sooner born than I gave proofs of
uncommon musical propensities. I entered the world, singing, instead of
crying; at least, my squall was truly melodious, and ravished the ears
of the midwife; tho’, I must confess, the envious old hag of a nurse
did pretend that my mother and Mrs. _Midnight_ mistook the origin of
the wild notes I uttered as soon as I saw the light; and, insisting
that they only denoted the wind-cholic, immediately drenched me with a
large dose of rhubarb: however, she has candidly confessed, that she
easily sang me to sleep whenever I was peevish, and that even by means
of such simple melody as _Jack Sprat_, or _hey diddle diddle, the cat
and the fiddle_. A harsh and menacing recitative would as effectually
deter me from a naughty trick, as a good whipping. The sound of a
drum, or any other martial music, had such an immediate effect upon my
nerves, that I was always obliged to be turned dry before the piece was
half over. The famous _March in Saul_ is too powerful for me even at
this day, tho’ I can stand any other, without being offensive. Indeed,
I am so well convinced of the connection between the sound and the
sense in all good music, that I will venture to prescribe _Handel’s
water-piece_, and _water parted from the sea_, as specifics for a
strangury. I know that there is great truth in what _Shakespear_ says
of the bag-pipe; and I have observed that a jockey always whistles to
his horse upon these occasions, which never fails to produce great
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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