'Mother gave me five pounds on leaving home. My ticket cost nearly
thirty shillings, a pound went in cabs and hotel expenses, and my
breakfasts brought my bill up yesterday to two pounds--I cannot think
how, for I only pay sixteen shillings for my room--and when it was paid
I had only a few shillings left. Will you, therefore, send the money you
promised, if possible, by return of post?
'Always affectionately yours,
'MAY GOULD.'
The tears started to Alice's eyes as she read the letter. She did not
consider if May might have spared her the physical details with which
her letter abounded; she did not stay to think of the cause, of the
result; for the moment she was numb to ideas and sensations that were
not those of humble human pity for humble human suffering: like the
waters of a new baptism, pity made her pure and whole, and the false
shame of an ancient world fell from her. Leaning her head on her strong,
well-shaped hand, she set to arranging her little plans for her friend's
help--plans that were charming for their simplicity, their sweet
homeliness. The letter she had just read had come by the afternoon post,
and if she were to send May the money she wrote for that evening, it
would be necessary to go into Gort to register the letter. Gort was two
miles away; and if she asked for the carriage her mother might propose
that the letters should be sent in by a special messenger. This of
course was impossible, and Alice, for the first time in her life found
herself obliged to tell a deliberate lie. For a moment her conscience
stood at bay, but she accepted the inevitable and told her mother that
she had some MSS. to register, and did not care to entrust them to other
hands. It was a consolation to know that eighteen pounds were safely
despatched, but she was bitterly unhappy, and the fear that money might
be wanting in the last and most terrible hours bound her to her desk as
with a chain; and when her tired and exhausted brain ceased to formulate
phrases, the picture of the lonely room, the night walks, and the
suffering of the jaded girl, stared her in the face with a terrible
distinctness. Her only moments of gladness were when the post brought a
cheque from London. Sometimes they were for a pound, sometimes for
fifteen shillings. Once she received five pounds ten--it was for her
story. On the 10th of September she received the following letter:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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