'DEAREST,
'Just a line in pencil--I mustn't sit up--to tell you it is all over,
and all I said was "Thank God, thank God!" over and over again, as each
pain went. It is such a relief; but I mustn't write much. It is such a
funny screwed-up-looking baby, and I don't feel any of those maternal
sentiments that you read about--at least not yet. And it always cries
just when I am longing to go to sleep. Thank you again and again for all
you have done for me and been to me. I feel awfully weak.
'Always affectionately yours,
'MAY GOULD.'
XXIV
Then Alice heard that the baby was dead, and that a little money would
be required to bury it. Another effort was made, the money was sent; and
the calm of the succeeding weeks was only disturbed by an uneasy desire
to see May back in Galway, and hear her say that her terrible secret was
over and done with for ever. One day she was startled by a quick
trampling of feet in the corridor, and May rushed into the room. She
threw herself into Alice's arms and kissed her with effusion, with
tears. The girls looked at each other long and nervously. One was pale
and over-worn, her spare figure was buttoned into a faded dress, and her
hair was rolled into a plain knot. The other was superb with health, and
her face was full of rose-bloom. She was handsomely dressed in green
velvet, and her copper hair flamed and flashed beneath a small bonnet
with mauve strings.
'Oh, Alice, how tired and pale you look! You have been working too hard,
and all for me! How can I thank you? I shall never be able to thank
you--I cannot find words to tell you how grateful I am--but I am
grateful, Alice, indeed I am.'
'I am sure you are, dear. I did my best for you, it is true; and thank
heaven I succeeded, and no one knows--I do not think that anyone even
suspects.'
'No, not a soul. We managed it very well, didn't we? And the Reverend
Mother behaved splendidly--she just took the view that you said she
would. She saw that no good would come of telling mamma about me when I
made her understand that if a word were said my misfortune would be
belled all over the country in double-quick time. But, Alice dear, I had
a terrible time of it, two months waiting in that little lodging, afraid
to go out for fear someone would recognize me; it was awful. And often I
hadn't enough to eat, for when you are in that state you can't eat
everything, and I was afraid to spend any money. You did your best to
keep me supplied, dear, good guardian angel that you are.' Then the
impulsive girl flung herself on Alice's shoulders, and kissed her. 'But
there were times when I was hard up--oh, much more hard up than you
thought I was, for I didn't tell you everything; if I had, you would
have worried yourself into your grave. Oh, I had a frightful time of it!
If one is married one is petted and consoled and encouraged; but alone
in a lodging--oh, it was frightful.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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