What had happened? Rumor ran wild through the crowd. The King was expected home that day—he had been assassinated. There had been an attempted revolution. Nobody knew. But the next day everybody knew. A bomb had burst opposite the monument—a bomb that had been intended for the King. One man had been killed; the man who carried the bomb. But the King had not arrived in Madrid that day after all. The police set to work upon the case and presently identified the dead man as Jose Tasozelli, who recently arrived in Spain from Buenos Ayres. It was not certain whether he had any accomplices. And while the police worked, the King, following a secret arrangement which had been made by the Spanish Minister at Belgium, and of which not even the Cabinet had been informed—arrived safely and quietly in Madrid; a day late, but alive. What became of the Cabinet Minister? There are no autocracies now, and not even a King may prosecute without proof. So the Minister escaped for the time being. But it is interesting to remember that this same Minister was assassinated, not a great while after. * * * * * Now there are more ways of getting rid of a king than by blowing him up with dynamite. Foreign Offices are none too squeamish in their methods, but they do balk at assassination, even if the proposed victim is a particularly objectionable opponent of their plans. There is another method which, if it be correctly followed, is every bit as efficacious.... Again I must refer you to that excellent French proverb: _Cherchez la femme_. It would be difficult to estimate properly the part that women have played in the game of foreign politics. As spies they are invaluable: for amourous men are always garrulous. But as Enslavers of Kings they are of even greater service to men who are interested in effecting a change of dynasty. Even the most loyal of subjects dislikes seeing his King made ridiculous; and in countries where the line is not too strictly drawn between the public exchequer and the private resources of the monarch, a discontented faction may see some connection between excessive taxes and the jewels that a demi-mondaine wears. Revolutions have occurred for less than that—as every Foreign Office knows. I am not insinuating that all royal scandals are to be laid at the door of international politics. I merely suggest that, given a king who is to be made ridiculous in the eyes of his subjects, it is a simple matter for an interested government to see that he is introduced to a lady who will produce the desired effect. But no diplomat will admit this, of course. Not, that is, until after he has “retired.” This brings me to the second act of my comedy.