Americans -- China -- Biography; China -- Social life and customs -- 1912-1949; Franking, Mae M.
I had put on China, to wear it always, in my heart and mind, and thought
only of my husband, his work and his people. In the beginning, I should
have been perfectly content to remain cloistered, to meet no one save a
few woman friends, to go nowhere. Life flowed by me so evenly that I was
happy to drift with it, filled with dreams. The noises of hurrying,
half-modernized Shanghai reached me but vaguely, deep within my cool,
quiet house where the floors were spread with white matting and the
walls were hung with symbolic panels. The click of the ponies' feet on
the pavement, the thud of the rickshaw coolies' heels as they drew their
noiseless, rubber-tyred vehicles, the strident scream of the motor
horns, the strange, long cries of the street venders, all came to me
muffled as through many curtains that sheltered me from the world. But
my husband insisted that I should go about with him everywhere that he
felt we should go, that I should help him entertain, that I should meet
and mingle with many people, both foreign and Chinese.
He was always ready to advise me on social matters, a more difficult
undertaking than might be supposed. I have already spoken of the many
gradations in the meeting of East and West. These alone are confusing
enough, and there are further complexities due to the fact that in the
two civilizations the fine points of etiquette are often entirely at
variance. A single example will suffice--the custom of serving a guest,
as soon as seated, with some form of refreshment. In the very
conservative Chinese household, if the visitor even touches the cup of
tea, placed beside him on a small table, he is guilty of a gross breach
of good manners. In the ultra-modern household, he must drink the iced
summer beverage or the piping hot winter drink, to avoid giving offence.
Then there are the variously modified establishments, where he attempts
an exact degree of compromise, whether acknowledging the offering
merely by a gracious bow, or going further by raising it to the lips for
a dainty sip, or being still more liberal and consuming one-half the
proffered amount. That such situations are often baffling, even to Young
China, I have heard it laughingly confessed in many lively discussions.
But, though occasional errors are inevitable, sincere good-will is truly
valued and seldom misunderstood. Chan-King's ability to consider all
points of view at once was very helpful to me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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