My Double Life: The Memoirs of Sarah BernhardtBernhardt, Sarah
General
My Double Life: The Memoirs of Sarah Bernhardt
Bernhardt, Sarah
Actors -- France -- Biography; Bernhardt, Sarah, 1844-1923
When I came to myself I was in my mother’s bed. My little boy was asleep
in my sister’s room, and my grandmother was installed in a large arm-
chair. She sat bolt upright, frowning, and with an angry expression on
her lips. She did not trouble about anything but her box, until at last
my mother was angry, and reproached her in Dutch with only caring for
herself. She answered excitedly, and her neck craned forward as though
to help her head to peer through the perpetual darkness which surrounded
her. Her thin body, wrapped in an Indian shawl of many colours, the
hissing of her strident words, which flowed freely, all contributed to
make her resemble a serpent in some terrible nightmare. My mother did
not like this woman, who had married my grandfather when he had six big
children, the eldest of whom was sixteen and the youngest, my uncle,
five years. This second wife had never had any children of her own, and
had been indifferent, even harsh, towards those of her husband; and
consequently she was not liked in the family. I had taken charge of her
because small-pox had broken out in the family with whom she had been
boarding. She had then wished to stay with me, and I had not had courage
enough to oppose her.
On the occasion of the fire, though, I considered she behaved so badly
that a strong dislike to her came over me, and I resolved not to keep
her with me. News of the fire was brought to us. It continued to rage,
and burnt everything in my flat, absolutely everything, even to the very
last book in my library. My greatest sorrow was that I had lost a
magnificent portrait of my mother by Bassompierre Severin, a pastelist
very much _à la mode_ under the Empire; an oil portrait of my father,
and a very pretty pastel of my sister Jeanne. I had not much jewellery,
and all that was found of the bracelet given to me by the Emperor was a
huge shapeless mass, which I still have. I had a very pretty diadem, set
with diamonds and pearls, given to me by Kalil Bey after a performance
at his house. The ashes of this had to be sifted in order to find the
stones. The diamonds were there, but the pearls had melted.
I was absolutely ruined, for the money that my father and his mother had
left me I had spent in furniture, curiosities, and a hundred other
useless things, which were the delight of my life. I had, too, and I own
it was absurd, a tortoise named Chrysagère. Its back was covered with a
shell of gold set with very small blue, pink, and yellow topazes. Oh,
how beautiful it was, and how droll! It used to wander round my flat,
accompanied by a smaller tortoise named Zerbinette, which was its
servant, and I used to amuse myself for hours watching Chrysagère,
flashing with a hundred lights under the rays of the sun or the moon.
Both my tortoises died in this fire.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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