My Double Life: The Memoirs of Sarah BernhardtBernhardt, Sarah
General
My Double Life: The Memoirs of Sarah Bernhardt
Bernhardt, Sarah
Actors -- France -- Biography; Bernhardt, Sarah, 1844-1923
I looked at him without speaking, and he began to get impatient.
“I will go and ask Madame Nathalie to come here,” he said, “and I beg
you will do your part as quickly as possible, for I have other things to
attend to than to put your blunders right.”
“Oh no, do not fetch Madame Nathalie,” I said at last. “I shall not
apologise to her. I will leave; I will cancel my engagement at once.”
He was stupefied, and his arrogance melted away in pity for the
ungovernable, wilful child, who was about to ruin her whole future for
the sake of a question of self-esteem. He was at once gentler and more
polite. He asked me to sit down, which he had not hitherto done, and he
sat down himself opposite to me, and spoke to me gently about the
advantages of the Comédie, and of the danger that there would be for me
in leaving that illustrious theatre, which had done me the honour of
admitting me. He gave me a hundred other very good, wise reasons which
softened me. When he saw the effect he had made he wanted to send for
Madame Nathalie, but I roused up then like a little wild animal.
“Oh, don’t let her come here; I should box her ears again!” I exclaimed.
“Well then, I must ask your mother to come,” he said.
“My mother would never come,” I said.
“Then I will go and call on her,” he remarked.
“It will be quite useless,” I persisted. “My mother has emancipated me,
and I am quite free to lead my own life. I alone am responsible for all
that I do.”
“Well then, Mademoiselle, I will think it over,” he said, rising, to
show me that the interview was at an end. I went back home, determined
to say nothing to my mother; but my little sister when questioned about
her wound had told everything in her own way, exaggerating, if possible,
the brutality of Madame Nathalie and the audacity of what I had done.
Rose Baretta, too, had been to see me, and had burst into tears,
assuring my mother that my engagement would be cancelled. The whole
family was very much excited and distressed when I arrived, and when
they began to argue with me it made me still more nervous. I did not
take calmly the reproaches which one and another of them addressed to
me, and I was not at all willing to follow their advice. I went to my
room and locked myself in.
The following day no one spoke to me, and I went up to Madame Guérard to
be comforted and consoled.
Several days passed by, and I had nothing to do at the theatre. Finally
one morning I received a notice requesting me to be present at the
reading of a play,—_Dolorès_, by M. Bouilhet. This was the first time I
had been asked to attend the reading of a new piece. I was evidently to
have a _rôle_ to “create.” All my sorrows were at once dispersed like a
cloud of butterflies. I told my mother of my joy, and she naturally
concluded that as I was asked to attend a reading my engagement was not
to be cancelled, and I was not to be asked again to apologise to Madame
Nathalie.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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