My empress; twenty-three years of intimate life with the empress of all the Russias from her marriage to the day of her exileMouchanow, Marfa
History
My empress; twenty-three years of intimate life with the empress of all the Russias from her marriage to the day of her exile
Mouchanow, Marfa
Alexandra, Empress, consort of Nicholas II, Emperor of Russia, 1872-1918
Tatiana was not so resigned as her sister. She revolted against the
terrible injustice of which she was the victim, and she could not
understand how after all the care she had taken of wounded soldiers
and miserable refugees whom her committee had helped, her good
intentions had been misunderstood, and how she could have been put
aside at a moment’s notice and deprived of the possibility of going on
further with the work to which she had given all her energy, and with
which she had been so successful. She had an impetuous nature, more
like her mother’s than like the placid temperament of her father, and
she would have liked to be able to express aloud the contempt which she
felt for all those whose victim and prisoner she was. The two youngest
daughters of the Czar and Czarina were still too much in the schoolroom
to be able to do aught else but be astonished at the change which had
taken place in their existence. They looked at all that was occurring
with big, surprised eyes, and were more ready to weep than to attempt
to fight against a fate which had proved too strong for them. They
clung to their mother more than did Olga or Tatiana, and hardly left
her protection. The Empress, who had never been a fond mother in the
sense of caresses, had changed in that respect since the misfortunes
that had fallen upon her, and she now hugged her girls and drew them
to her breast with a passionate earnestness which made the children
exclaim that now they were happier than they had ever been before,
because their mother embraced them just as much as if they had been
poor little waifs, with a mamma ignorant of what etiquette meant. The
remark had something touching about it, and I think that the Empress
realised this as well as did others, because she showed herself more
affectionate towards her daughters than she had been used to do, and
was no longer absorbed by her exclusive tenderness for her son. She
seemed indeed to have lost her interest in the latter since the day
she had realised that he was no longer the heir to one of the greatest
thrones in the world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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