My empress; twenty-three years of intimate life with the empress of all the Russias from her marriage to the day of her exileMouchanow, Marfa
History
My empress; twenty-three years of intimate life with the empress of all the Russias from her marriage to the day of her exile
Mouchanow, Marfa
Alexandra, Empress, consort of Nicholas II, Emperor of Russia, 1872-1918
therefore form an idea of the system of education to which Alexis was
subjected, and perhaps one will feel indulgent in regard to the Empress
when thinking of the perpetual dread and anxiety in which her days and
nights were spent, and forgive her for the weakness which made her
yield to every whim or caprice of the boy who seemed to have been born
to add to her cup of sorrow, and not for the purpose of bringing joy
into her life.
I will now relate an incident which deeply impressed the Czarina at
the time when it occurred. It was a few days before the birth of her
son. We were at Peterhof and she was dressing for dinner. Suddenly we
heard a crash behind us, and were dismayed to see that a heavy looking
glass which hung upon the wall behind Alexandra Feodorovna had fallen
to the floor, where it had been shattered into a thousand fragments.
The Empress cried aloud in her emotion, and for one moment I believed
that she was about to faint, so white did her features become. I
applied myself to reassure her, but she would not be comforted, and
declared that it was an ill omen and that probably she would die in
childbirth. When everything was over, and on the day of the christening
of the Grand Duke Alexis, I ventured to remind his mother of her fright
of a few weeks before, and added that it was a clear proof how wrong it
was to be superstitious, because certainly nothing happier could have
occurred than the event which had just taken place, notwithstanding the
bad omen of the broken looking glass. The Empress smiled sadly, and
replied: “My good Marfa, we do not know yet what is going to befall my
baby, and whether his will be a happy life or not. Perhaps the bad
omen was for him and not for me.”
A curious thing is that exactly ten years later, in July, 1914, just
before the war, we were again at Peterhof, and the Czarina was dressing
for dinner in the same room, when that identical looking glass, which
had been rehung, fell with the same noise and just as unexpectedly,
terrifying her as it had done before. Alas, alas, we could afford then
to laugh at omens, but now that so many tragic things have occurred
I wonder sometimes whether these accidents (for one can hardly call
them anything else) were a kind of warning of the calamities about
to follow. Certainly they could not fail to impress a woman as
superstitious as the Empress grew in time to be.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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