Kentucky -- Fiction; Self-actualization (Psychology) in women -- Fiction
THEODOSIA: She didn’t have to continue in life if she didn’t
want to. She didn’t have to sleep in the bed either. She could
sleep any way she wanted to. She didn’t have to sleep in some
regular way to prove she was alive.
SECOND VOICE: This house, it’s full of devils. [_Screaming._]
Full of demons.
THIRD VOICE: “See,” they said. “Look, look, she ate the dog
bread.” What else is there around? Between her teeth a crust of
the dog bread.
THEODOSIA: And very good bread it is. Don’t be too light with
the dog bread.
FIRST VOICE: The foul breath of an old fox-killing bitch on a
hot pone and a clock strikes. That’s what time is. There is
nothing comparable to it on any other planet. Nothing like it.
THIRD VOICE: You are a murderer yourself. You, Theodosia. And
an adulteress. Which of the commandments have you not broken?
THEODOSIA: I thought that was finished, settled. I thought I’d
put that by.
THIRD VOICE: What honor did you show your father? Why didn’t
you honor him as he wanted to be honored? Easy to know and
lived in the same house.
Time was measured then by the walking of a dog over a hearth, but the
day, Wednesday, stood apart from time as having some entity of its own,
some extra faculty. She saw innumerable dogs walking in procession across
a hearth, ticking time, yesterday and tomorrow, forever, as far back as
memory could reach. A warmth then began to drown her memory of Tilly and
she knew in some inner way that it was afternoon and that Frank would
come. A pleasant sense of Frank stole over her. He would talk a little
of his success in the courts and gossip of law secrets, wills, marriage
settlements, threatened procedures, giving comradeship. Perhaps he would
grow amorous, offering compliments. Through him she would touch the world
again. The vignettes on the border were fading with the waning day, the
birds being still, the sun set. She sat up in the bed suddenly, the act
a sudden cry to the departing light. Except for a few patches of lit
upland, the landscape was dark now, settling into the shadows where the
hills arose, biting at the sky with sullen lines along the west hill rim.
Weak from the strain of sitting up suddenly she sank into a momentary
apathy, but her breathing was one continuous burden borne by the prophecy
which was already clearly stated as fact. She arose from the bed as if
some determination had come to her. She felt herself moving slowly, but
with little forward rushes of settled opinion, going straight without
dalliance. She mended the fire without stint of the wood and dressed
herself in the first gown that came to her hand, the gray wool gown, and
took the scarf to her shoulders. Her hands trembled with exhaustion, but
she lit the lamp and carried it to the lower hall and set it on the table
there.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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