Kentucky -- Fiction; Self-actualization (Psychology) in women -- Fiction
She was pushed by the great bodies of the dogs until she glided along
the wall, but she moved upward, and the dogs came with her, a part of
her ascending motion now. She took the dogs to her room and closed the
door. The tumult in her mind had increased, for Frank had brought a
newer quality of argument, of rational approach to himself. Pity for
Frank worked in her now. He had called after her, “I want to marry you,
Theodosia. That’s what I want now in life.” Frank was still below; the
front door was yet open; she knew this by the draught under her door that
sang a loud thin cry as the air rushed through the wide crevice and made
for the loosely fitted window. Trembling, knowing that Frank was below,
she began to hiss at Tilly, the more evil-tempered of the brutes, until
the dog growled and barked in great anger, until she ran to the window
and leaped again and again at the door. There was nothing left now but to
walk out at the door when the menace of Frank should depart. She hissed
up Tilly’s anger whenever it abated. She sat relaxed in her chair, her
muscles indifferent to their functions. Below-stairs other dogs were in
an uproar now, the whole house of dogs in a mad stir. She passed into the
remote barkings of the dogs, already as dead, indifferent to the air she
continued to suck in and out with her habitual breathing, indifferent to
the icy water of the pond where it would lay pain about her. Her hissing
was continuous with the anger of the dogs.
The crying of the draught under the door had ceased now, and the cold
had ceased to rush along the floor. Then it seemed that a long while
since she had heard the door below when it slammed and she heard the
motor start. She continued to hiss Tilly’s anger. Sitting indifferently
in her chair, relaxed in every fiber, she lived only where the hissing
breath came from her lips to stir the dogs. She had no relation to the
bed in which she had lain formerly and no need or thought or memory of
it, no possessive sense of it. The world became more and more dim as
the fire sank lower, the air colored with a pink afterglow, and the
dark crept nearer, a fact which she held somehow but to which she was
indifferent. Old Tilly barked fitfully now, or lay exhausted in a corner
of the room. She kept no relation to the fiddle as it lay on the table
beyond the hearth, beyond the reach of the firelight; it was a darkened
mass among the shadows of the table, holding a remote kindness for some
being far apart from herself, identical with some abstract goodness that
would never be stated. It gathered to a dim shadow that concentrated to
a dull point and receded through elastic space to infinite depths of
remoteness. She stared at the wall to the left of the fireplace, her
vision having no function. Only one fact held truth in the singleness of
prophecy. She saw herself leap from the chair suddenly and rush out at
the door; a sudden start and she would be gone. She stared at the wall;
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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