"Have you got any Aunties?" he inquired, as I laboured upon his miry
person.
"No," I answered, shaking my head; "unfortunately mine are all Aunts
and that is vastly different."
"Oh," said the Imp, regarding me with a puzzled expression; "are they
nice--I mean do they ever read to you out of the history book, and help you
to sail boats, an' paddle?"
"Paddle?" I repeated
"Yes. My Auntie Lisbeth does. The other day we got up awfull' early
an' went for a walk an' we came to the river, so we took off our shoes
an' stockings an' we paddled; it was ever so jolly, you know. An' when
Auntie wasn't looking I found a frog an' put it in her stocking."
"Highly strategic, my Imp! Well?"
"It was awful funny," he said, smiling dreamily. "When she went to put
it on she gave a little high-up scream like Dorothy does when I pinch
her a bit--an' then she throwed them both away, 'cause she was afraid
there was frogs in both of them. Then she put on her shoes without any
stockings at all, so I hid them."
"Where?" I cried eagerly.
"Reggie!" called a voice some distance away--a voice I recognised with
a thrill. "Reggie!"
"Imp, would you like half a crown?"
"'Course I would; but you might clean my back, please," and he began
rubbing himself feverishly with his cap, after the fashion of a
scrubbing brush.
"Look here," I said, pulling out the coin, "tell me where you hid
them--quick--and I'll give you this." The Imp held out his hand, but
even as he did so the bushes parted and Lisbeth stood before us. She
gave a little, low cry of surprise at sight of me, and then frowned.
"You?" she exclaimed.
"Yes," I answered, raising my cap. And there I stopped, trying
frantically to remember the speech I had so carefully prepared--the
greeting which was to have explained my conduct and disarmed her
resentment at the very outset. But rack my brain as I would, I could
think of nothing but the reproach in her eyes--her disdainful mouth and
chin--and that one haunting phrase:
"'I suppose I am become the object of your bitterest scorn by now?'" I
found myself saying.
"My aunt informed me of--of everything, and naturally--"
"Let me explain," I began.
"Really, it is not at all necessary."
"But, Lisbeth, I must--I insist--"
"Reginald," she said, turning toward the Imp, who was still busy with
his cap, "it's nearly tea-time, and--why, whatever have you been doing
to yourself?"
"For the last half hour," I interposed, "we have been exchanging our
opinions on the sex."
"An' talking 'bout worms," added the Imp. "This man is fond of worms,
too, Auntie Lisbeth--I like him."
"Thanks," I said; "but let me beg of you to drop your very distant mode
of address, Call me Uncle Dick."
"But you're not my Uncle Dick, you know," he demurred.
"Not yet, perhaps; but there's no knowing what may happen some day if
your Auntie thinks us worthy--so take time by the forelock, my Imp, and
call me Uncle Dick."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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