My Lady Nicotine: A Study in SmokeBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
My Lady Nicotine: A Study in Smoke
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Smoking -- Anecdotes; Tobacco -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor, Pictorial
At that time I was a school-boy, living with my brother, who was a man.
People mistook our relations, and thought I was his son. They would ask
me how my father was, and when he heard of this he scowled at me. Even
to this day I look so young that people who remember me as a boy now
think I must be that boy's younger brother. I shall tell presently of
a strange mistake of this kind, but at present I am thinking of the
evening when my brother's eldest daughter was born--perhaps the most
trying evening he and I ever passed together. So far as I knew, the
affair was very sudden, and I felt sorry for my brother as well as for
myself.
We sat together in the study, he on an arm-chair drawn near the fire and
I on the couch. I cannot say now at what time I began to have an inkling
that there was something wrong. It came upon me gradually and made
me very uncomfortable, though of course I did not show this. I heard
people going up and down stairs, but I was not at that time naturally
suspicious. Comparatively early in the evening I felt that my brother
had something on his mind. As a rule, when we were left together, he
yawned or drummed with his fingers on the arm of his chair to show that
he did not feel uncomfortable, or I made a pretence of being at ease by
playing with the dog or saying that the room was close. Then one of us
would rise, remark that he had left his book in the dining-room, and
go away to look for it, taking care not to come back till the other
had gone. In this crafty way we helped each other. On that occasion,
however, he did not adopt any of the usual methods, and though I went
up to my bedroom several times and listened through the wall, I heard
nothing. At last some one told me not to go upstairs, and I returned
to the study, feeling that I now knew the worst. He was still in the
arm-chair, and I again took to the couch. I could see by the way he
looked at me over his pipe that he was wondering whether I knew
anything. I don't think I ever liked my brother better than on that
night; and I wanted him to understand that, whatever happened, it would
make no difference between us. But the affair upstairs was too delicate
to talk of, and all I could do was to try to keep his mind from brooding
on it, by making him tell me things about politics. This is the kind of
man my brother is. He is an astonishing master of facts, and I suppose
he never read a book yet, from a Blue Book to a volume of verse,
without catching the author in error about something. He reads books
for that purpose. As a rule I avoided argument with him, because he was
disappointed if I was right and stormed if I was wrong. It was therefore
a dangerous thing to begin on politics, but I thought the circumstances
warranted it. To my surprise he answered me in a rambling manner,
occasionally breaking off in the middle of a sentence and seeming to
listen for something. I tried him on history, and mentioned 1822 as the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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