My Lady Nicotine: A Study in SmokeBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
My Lady Nicotine: A Study in Smoke
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Smoking -- Anecdotes; Tobacco -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor, Pictorial
I have hinted that Marriot was our sentimental member. He was seldom
sentimental until after midnight, and then only when he and I were
alone. Why he should have chosen me as the pail into which to pour his
troubles I cannot say. I let him talk on, and when he had ended I showed
him plainly that I had been thinking most of the time about something
else. Whether Marriot was entirely a humbug or the most conscientious
person on our stair, readers may decide. He was fond of argument if you
did not answer him, and often wanted me to tell him if I thought he was
in love; if so, why did I think so; if not, why not. What makes me on
reflection fancy that he was sincere is that in his statements he would
let his pipe go out.
Of course I cannot give his words, but he would wait till all my other
guests had gone, then softly lock the door, and returning to the cane
chair empty himself in some such way as this:
"I have something I want to talk to you about. Pass me a spill. Well, it
is this. Before I came to your rooms to-night I was cleaning my pipe,
when all at once it struck me that I might be in love. This is the kind
of shock that pulls a man up and together. My first thought was, if it
be love, well and good; I shall go on. As a gentleman I know my duty
both to her and to myself. At present, however, I am not certain which
she is. In love there are no degrees; of that at least I feel positive.
It is a tempestuous, surging passion, or it is nothing. The question for
me, therefore, is, Is this the beginning of a tempestuous, surging
passion? But stop; does such a passion have a beginning? Should it not
be in flood before we know what we are about? I don't want you to
answer.
[Illustration]
"One of my difficulties is that I cannot reason from experience. I
cannot say to myself, During the spring of 1886, and again in October,
1888, your breast has known the insurgence of a tempestuous passion. Do
you now note the same symptoms? Have you experienced a sudden sinking
at the heart, followed by thrills of exultation? Now I cannot even say
that my appetite has fallen off, but I am smoking more than ever, and it
is notorious that I experience sudden chills and thrills. Is this
passion? No, I am not done; I have only begun.
[Illustration]
"In 'As You Like It,' you remember, the love symptoms are described at
length. But is _Rosalind_ to be taken seriously? Besides, though
she wore boy's clothes, she had only the woman's point of view. I have
consulted Stevenson's chapters on love in his delightful 'Virginibus
Puerisque,' and one of them says, 'Certainly, if I could help it, I
would never marry a wife who wrote.' Then I noticed a book published
after that one, and entitled 'The New Arabian Nights, by Mr. and Mrs.
Robert Louis Stevenson.' I shut 'Virginibus Puerisque' with a sigh, and
put it away.
[Illustration]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account