One of the last excursions undertaken with an idea of setting myself up
in business or academic independence is worth describing. There had been
considerable friction in the household on my account for several days,
and I deliberately planned with a neighboring banker's son to light out
for parts unknown. I was the proud owner of two cows at the time,
furnishing milk to my mother and a few neighbors at an agreed upon
price. I had been able to pay for the cows out of the milk money, and my
mother frankly recognized that the cows were my property. The banker's
boy was also imbued with the irritating friction in his family--he was
considerably older and larger than I. We put our heads together and
decided to go West--where, in the West, was immaterial, but toward the
setting sun we were determined to travel. My companion in this strange
venture had no such property to contribute toward financing the trip as
I had, but he was the proud possessor of five greyhounds of some value,
several guns and a saddle. We looked about the village for a horse and
cart to carry us, and we at last dickered with a young man who owned a
poor, half-starved, spavined beast and a rickety cart. I gave him my two
cows in exchange for his outfit, a deal which netted him easily fifty
per cent. profit. The cart loaded, our outfit was the weirdest looking
expedition that ever started for the immortal West. The muzzles of guns
protruded under the covering on the sides, the five dogs sniffed
uneasily at the cart, and the dying steed threw his ears back in utter
horror. In this fashion, one bright afternoon in spring, our hearts
throbbing with excitement, we started forth on our Don Quixote trip,
choosing Chicago as our first goal. We arrived in that city, twelve
miles distant, after four days' travel and a series of accidents to both
cart and horse. It was a Sunday morning, and we had found our way
somehow to the fashionable boulevard, Michigan Avenue, about church
time. Our outfit caused so much embarrassing amusement to the people in
the street that we turned city-wards to find the station where the
C. B. & Q. R. R. started its trains West. We knew of no other way to go
West than to follow these tracks, I having already been over them as far
as Iowa. We came to grief and complete pause in Madison Street. I was
driving, and my companion was walking on the pavement. Suddenly, and
without any warning, a stylishly dressed man hailed my companion, and
asked him if his name was so-and-so, giving the young man's correct
name. The latter "acknowledged the corn," as he afterwards put it to me,
and I was told to draw up to the curb, where I learned that the dapper
stranger was none other than a Pinkerton operative. Our trip West was
nipped in the bud then and there. The cart was driven to a stable, and
we boys were taken to the Pinkerton offices, where I spent the day
pretty much alone, except when one of the Pinkertons, I think it was,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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