My grandmother's room on her side was in the front, and here she spent
most of her time, reading, tending her scrapbook and flowers, keeping
track of her famous daughter's travels, and nearly every day receiving
visits from some of us children. I have spent some of the happiest hours
of my life in that quaint room, telling grandmother about my school
life, what I wanted to be, and reading to her such things, usually
verses, as she or I liked. She thought that I read well, and if the
"piece" was pathetic, I used to gauge my rendering of it by the flow of
tears from grandmother's eyes. I watched them furtively on all pathetic
occasions. Gradually the lids would redden, a tear or two would drop,
her dear old lips would quiver--and I had succeeded. Grandmother seemed
to enjoy the weeping as much as I enjoyed its implied praise. These
"sittings" in her room have overcome many and many an impulse on my part
to run away; and I can recall purposely going to her room and society to
try and conquer the temptation that was besetting me, although I did not
tell her what I had come to her for. What she meant to the other
children I do not know, but, my mother being away so much, and the
governess representing solely discipline and control, grandmother
became almost as dear to me as my mother. Strange to relate, however, I
was never demonstratively affectionate with her, nor she with me,
whereas I was very distinctly so with my mother when I was trying to be
good. They tell a story about me to-day of how, when after supper mother
had settled herself in one of the large chairs near the stove, I would
climb into her lap and say: "Hug me, mother, I need it." Probably no lad
ever needed mothering more than I did, but out on the road, curiously
enough, while still quite young, I could dig a hole in a hay-stack and
fall asleep as easily as at home in my own bed, which goes to show what
a bundle of contrasts and mixtures I was. One day, as tractable a
scholar and playmate as the village contained; the next, very possibly,
irritable, cross, moody and wavering, like a half-balanced stick,
between a vamose or home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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