"After a little practice at the bar," said he--"it will take a good many _tods_ to _floor_ you. Let me give you a few hints as regards drinking. Never mix your liquor--always stick to one kind. After every glass, eat a cracker--or, what is better, a pickle. Plain drinks are always the best--far preferable to fancy drinks, which contain sugar, and lemons, and mint, and other trash; although a mixed drink may be taken on a stormy night, such as this has been. Drink ale, or beer, sparingly, and only after dinner--for, taken in large quantities, it is apt to bloat a person, and it plays the very devil with his internal arrangements. Besides, it is filthy stuff, at best, being made of the most repulsive materials and in the dirtiest manner. Always drink _good liquor_, which will not hurt you, while the vile stuff which is sold in the different bar-rooms will soon send you to your grave. If you pass a day or two in drinking freely, do not miss eating a single meal, and if you do not feel inclined to eat, _force_ yourself to do it; for, if you neglect your food, that terrible fiend, _Delirium Tremens_, will have you in his savage grasp before you know it. Every morning after a _spree_, take a good stiff horn of brandy, and soon afterwards a glass of plain soda, which will cool you off. Never drink gin--it is vulgar stuff, not fit to be used by gentlemen.--When you desire to reform from drinking, never break off abruptly, which is dangerous; but _taper off_ gradually--three glasses to-day, two to-morrow, and one the next day. Never drink with low people, under any circumstances, for it brings you down to their level. When you go to a drinking party, or to a fashionable dinner, sit with your back toward the sun--confine yourself to one kind of liquor--take an occasional sip of vinegar--and the very devil himself cannot drink you under the table! Now do you understand me, my dear _greenhorn_?" Such language and advice, emanating from a boy of twelve, astonished me, and hurried me to the conclusion that he must be a very "_fast_" youth indeed. I took a more particular survey of my new friend. He was not remarkable handsome, but his face was flushing not with health, but with drinking. A rosy tint suffused his full cheeks, and a delicate vermillion colored the top of his well-formed nose. His form was somewhat slighter than mine, but he looked vigorous and active. His closely buttoned jacket developed a full breast, and a pair of muscular arms. His small feet were encased in patent-leather boots. Upon his head was a jaunty cloth cap, from beneath which flowed a quantity of fine, curly hair. I really envied him his good looks, as also his mental endowments. He saw that I admired him; and he liked me for it.