India -- Economic conditions -- 1918-1947; India -- Politics and government -- 1919-1947; India -- Social conditions
In India the origin of marriage did not lie in passion. Marriage was
entered into, not to satisfy desire on the part of either man or
woman, but to fulfill a purpose in life. It was the duty of every
individual during life to marry and propagate for the continuation of
the race. His marital union did not depend upon the caprice of his
will; it was required of him as a social obligation. No individual’s
life was considered complete without an offspring. To both man and
woman marriage was the most conclusive of all incidents in life; it was
the fulfillment of one’s whole being. Marriage was not sought as the
satisfaction of human feelings but as “the fulfilment of a ritual duty
to the family in its relation to the Divine Spirit.” “The happiness
and fruition of family life were sought not in the tumults of passion,
but in the calm and ordered affection of a disciplined and worshipful
pair.” That strong sexual passion which has been so beautifully
sanctified by the grace of poetry and hallowed by the name of romantic
love, and which is the source of immense force and power in many a
young life in the West, is called by the Hindu idealist “an earthly
desire and an illusion.”
Love as an expression of sentiment is transitory. People who once
fall in love may after some time and for similar reasons fall out of
love. Hence if the ideal basis for the union of the sexes is to be
mutual passion, an arrangement must be provided so that simultaneously
with a break in the fascination on either side, the marriage between
the parties shall come to an end. Yet under the existing conditions
over the entire civilized world it would not be possible to make the
marriage laws as lax as that. So long as such an arrangement remains
untried, and so long as there is any truth in the statement that human
hearts are to a high degree fickle, it must follow that successful
marriages should have other sources of lasting satisfaction than
romantic love. On observation, we find that most marriages, which were
entered into on the strict principle of mutual love, hold together from
habit, from considerations of prudence, and from duty towards children
long after lovers’ joy has totally disappeared from the lives of the
couple. The glimmer of first love very soon fades into nothingness.
Closer acquaintance brings to light faults which the lover’s eyes in
days of romance had stubbornly refused to see. Unless the parties
are possessed of sensitive souls, unless after a serious search for
a foothold they find a basis of common interest and common hobbies,
and unless their mutuality of temperament is found adequate for
friendship, there is left for their future relationships no happiness.
Why, then, excite one’s imagination in the beginning, and permit
oneself to be deluded by such obviously foolish hopes?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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