My Neighbor Raymond (Novels of Paul de Kock Volume XI)Kock, Paul de
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My Neighbor Raymond (Novels of Paul de Kock Volume XI)
Kock, Paul de
French fiction -- Translations into English
Père Trousquin began his performance, interrupting himself frequently to
swear at his wife, who did not return; and I listened attentively,
although I could see nothing, not being under the curtain; but I had an
idea that the spectators for whom the pictures were being explained were
not looking at them.
"First of all, messieurs and mesdames, you see the sun, the moon, the
stars, and the little fishes. Farther on, the products of the soil, such
as trees, vegetables, animals, caves, waterfalls, rattlesnakes. Pray
examine Monsieur Sun, whom you can't look at because he's so bright; and
Madame Moon, who is full because she's in her first quarter. See those
stars, how fast they travel, as if the devil was carrying 'em
off!--Three hours to put Fifi to bed! Ah! the slut! how I'll make her
dance to-night!--See Venus, glistening like a pinchbeck pin! See the
shepherd's star! The shepherd Tircis, I suppose, seeing what his
reputation is. And there's the Three Kings, who are always together. And
the Chariot, that travels like those you see in the mountains of Russia.
And Mercury and Jupiter. And the Virgin and the Twins. And the Bull and
the Goat. Anybody can understand about them. Do you see the Scales? Do
you see the Scorpion?--a wicked beast he is! All these, messieurs and
mesdames, are planets that determine the nervous _infections_ of the
people born under their _affluence_. The planet Venus is for wanton
women, the Shepherd for good-looking youths, the Three Kings for heroes,
the Chariot for coachmen, Jupiter for roistering blades, Mercury for
apothecaries, the Virgin for little girls, and the Goat for many worthy
gentlemen whom you know. Observe, messieurs and mesdames, in the middle
of that great black cloud, full of stars, between the Bear and the Ram,
you'll see a big, hairy comet, with a tail longer than a fox's. That
brilliant meteor has in all ages announced the end of the world; with
its tail or its head it is capable of overturning our globe, which is
held in place only by a thread, and broiling us all like chestnuts."
At this point, a movement under the curtain led me to surmise that the
comet had aroused great curiosity.
"One moment, messieurs and mesdames, and you'll see what you will see."
Père Trousquin pulled a cord to change the picture, and, after several
very emphatic oaths, resumed his explanation, not changing his voice a
quarter of a tone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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