The Queen helped to mould my character by abundant reading, chiefly in French and English--principally memoirs. I was never, or very rarely, allowed to read a novel. The Queen read deliciously, giving the smallest phrase its full value; the manner in which she read aloud was not only that of a woman who knew _how_ to read, but it also displayed a penetrating intelligence--in fact, it was more like speaking than reading, and it seemed to come from a heart which understood everything. The Queen was gay and entrancingly charming with her intimate friends. She was always like this, in her excursions in the country, at croquet parties, at her own receptions, and in her box at the theatre. Her good humour was in accordance with the promptings of a generous and expansive nature. On my birthday, August 25, 1894, which I celebrated with her at Spa, she wished to mark the auspicious occasion by improvising a small dance after _déjeuner_, which she had specially ordered to be served, not in her villa, but in a room reserved for her in an hotel, thus making _déjeuner_ a more agreeable and homely affair. There were present myself and my sisters, Stéphanie's daughter, and my own, and all of us wore our smartest gowns. The Queen insisted on Clémentine, who was an accomplished musician, playing the piano, and having sent for Gerard, her _maître d'hôtel_, who had accompanied us to supervise the service (he was one of those servants who believed in their duty towards their employers, and who knew the meaning of the name of servant), the Queen said to him: "Gerard, in honour of the princess's birthday you are going to waltz with us." "Oh, your Majesty!" "Yes, yes, you are going to waltz once with me, and once with the princess." "Oh, your Majesty!" "What? Do you not know how to waltz?" "Yes, your Majesty, a little." "_Eh bien_, Gerard, waltz! Now, Clémentine, play a waltz." The faithful Gerard could but obey, blushing, and shy and hardly daring to glance at his royal partner. The Queen then said laughingly: "Don't be afraid, Gerard, I am not a sylphide." Gerard then waltzed with my mother and also with me, and he waltzed well! The next day he was once more the model servant--such as are loved and esteemed by their masters, whom they love and esteem in return, if those they serve only know how to merit their devotion. The Queen took no part in politics except to discharge her duties as a sovereign. On a man like the King, feminine influence could not be exercised by a wife and mother. It was impossible for the Queen to find in her husband the perfect union of thought, the intimacy of action and the entire confidence which, in no matter what household, are the only possible conditions for happiness, and the first deception which she experienced was followed by others which became more and more cruel. The trial which caused the Queen to be inconsolable and which had such painful consequences, was the death of her son Leopold.