Authors, English -- 20th century -- Biography; Waugh, Alec, 1898-1981
The picture grew before me. I could see them at the booking-office. I
could see her fumbling in her bag, searching every pocket, and then
turning to him with a despairing look.
“I’ve lost the money.”
“Oh, no; surely not,” he would say. “It must be in one of your pockets.
Have another look.”
And she would make another long, careful search which would, of course,
be equally vain. And she would turn to him with tear-filled eyes.
“But what am I to do? I can’t get home. I haven’t any money to buy a
ticket.”
And in her voice would be the suggestion that he should lend her some,
and, of course, he would say that he had none with him, but that if she
would come back to his flat.... And she would thank him effusively and
they would leap into a taxi, but when they arrived at the flat, which
would be at the top of four flights of stairs, with the flat below
unoccupied, he would discover that he had no money after all, and that
the porter had gone, and that there was no one from whom he could borrow
any; she would sink down on the sofa, her hands clasped before her
knees, while he stood behind her wondering at what exact point----
But at that moment the train stopped at East Croydon, where I had to
change and wait twenty minutes for a connection; and, while I stamped up
and down the platform trying to keep warm, a swift dissatisfaction with
my story overcame me. What did it matter what he said next, or at what
exact point he ... for whatever he did, or whatever she did, the story
as I had elected to tell it could only end in one way--a row of dots,
and a short concluding paragraph: “Next morning, her dark hair scattered
across the pillow, she woke in a strange room....” And how often that
has been done. In how many novels has not that dark hair been scattered
across that pillow? It was theatrical, vulgar, the sort of plot that
occurs to one as one sits in the smoking-room of one’s club after a
heavy lunch and half a bottle of Pommard, and I walked up and down the
platform of East Croydon station in a state of cold and miserable
self-contempt.
But warmth revives us, and when I was again in the corner-seat of a
smoker, down the window of which the heat ran in long, straggly
trickles, I began to think that, after all, though I had to wash out the
seduction motive, there might be something in the idea of the lost
return-ticket, and the last train to Anerley. Suppose now that the young
man had for a long time besieged unsuccessfully his fair companion, and
that on the refusal of his third proposal he had decided that he would
never secure the hand of his beloved unless he managed to compromise
innocently her honour?
Yes, that might work out. He would steal her money at the restaurant;
they would reach the booking-office where the scene which I have already
described would be enacted. There would be the return to the flat and
the discovery that the porter was out, and that, after all, he had
forgotten to cash the cheque he had written out that morning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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