Authors, English -- 20th century -- Biography; Waugh, Alec, 1898-1981
“But what am I to do?” she would say.
And, with well-simulated confusion, he would mutter something about not
minding a “shake-down” on the sofa, and that if she would take his room
...
“Oh, but I couldn’t! How could I? What would mother say?”
Just a little touch that would place the mother at once before the
reader’s eye--a plump, heavy woman with a small, unsatisfactory husband.
A woman of strong passions, that have focussed themselves on a rigid
observance of the proprieties.
“But what else are you to do?” the young man would exclaim, and he would
stammer something about giving her his key. And, in the end, she would
consent to pass the night there, and next morning they would arrive at
Anerley together with the milk, and be received by the mother in the
front-parlour, a cold, melancholy room with the fire smoking dismally.
She would receive them with her hands on her hips, and she would say one
word, “Well!” and then listen while the young man stammered his
explanations. Of course she would not believe him: he had never expected
her to, and would have been miserably disappointed if she had. He would
listen to her threats and tirades, and then, at the right moment, he
would draw himself up to his full height.
“Madam,” he would say, “your accusations are untrue; the door of the
room in which your daughter slept was locked all night. I slept on the
sofa. But to prove my honour, and to vindicate hers, I am prepared--and
shall be proud--to marry your daughter.”
A slow smile would spread across the mother’s face. Honour saved, a
daughter off her hands; and at last the daughter, moved by his chivalry,
might even fall in love with her knight-errant.
I considered this solution during the two miles’ walk from Hassocks
station. It was original. I had never seen it done before. Such a
situation is common enough in modern fiction. But the mistake is usually
genuine, and that scene in the dismal parlour is the prelude to long
years of married misery. Occasionally the affair is arranged by the
girl, if she can trust her lover’s lack of enterprise. For a girl is
more interested in marriage than a man, and proposes it indirectly more
often than the admirers of the strong man would have us think. But for a
man to plan such an escapade--that would indeed be new. And I went to
sleep contented, thinking that the next day would pass pleasantly in
congenial work.
But there is a poem by a poetess, now little read, which contains the
lines:
“Colours seen by candlelight
Do not look the same by day,”
and when the sun shone next morning through my bedroom window my plot
seemed less original than I had thought it the night before. What was
it, after all, but a conceit? It said “black” to someone else’s “white”;
it turned an old coat inside out, and though it would no doubt cause
surprise if I were to walk down the village with my coat inside out, it
would not be a particularly original act, and it would be the same coat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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